A Lonely September
by Br00keSc0tt
Summary: Can we say Senior Trip? All the kids take their senior trip skiing, and I'm guessing you can imagine the trouble they can find to get into! Pretty big Brucas story as always and hey, of you wanna read about Pucas getting screwed over you'll enjoy it too
1. Chapter 1

Hey everyone! So here's the new story! I hope you guys like it! PLEASE review and let me know what you think... Reviews are MOST crucial for these first few chapters and I appreciate them SOO much! (Especially right now considering I'm trying to write chapter 8 of this thing and I have THE worst possible writers block lol)

But as you read, just REMEMBER. I love Brucas. I love you guys. I hate Pucas. And things will end awesomely... now whose ready to screw with some Pucas? Enjoy!!

Brooke Davis sat in her English class staring off in space. It was hard to believe; just 2 months ago she'd been staring at her teacher, whom she was sleeping with. He'd seemed so good looking at the time, but now, the more she looked at his smug smile and deformed face, the more she wanted to kick herself for ever doing anything with him.

She turned her head a little to get Nick out of her eye line, only to catch a nice little glance of her former back stabbing, whore of a best friend, Peyton Sawyer giving her former beautiful, yet ruggedly handsome boyfriend Lucas Scott, a kiss on the cheek. Ever since they'd started dating last month all Brooke could think about was what the look on Peyton's face would look like if she ripped those pretty little blonde locks out one by one. Or better yet… hair by hair. Brooke actually caught herself smiling as she thought of the idea of Peyton being bald, and contemplated putting Nair in her conditioner bottle for a split second. That was until Lucas gave her _that_ look. The look he'd been giving her ever since she had broken up with him. The "_lets try and be friends, even though you shattered my heart into a million pieces" _look. She hadn't meant to break that boys heart, in fact she was pretty sure it broke hers more to break up with him. All Brooke wanted was a guy to fight for her. Not just any guy, she wanted Lucas. But Lucas was never very good at the whole fighting thing. Romantic and sweet as he was, he just didn't know how relationships were supposed to work. Of course she had to admit, he was learning with each one. But still, he hadn't mastered the basics of what to do when you love a girl.

After a few more minutes of pining for her former boy toy, Brooke decided to change her train of thought. She looked over at Nathan who was staring intently at his notebook. He just hadn't been the same since Haley had lost the baby. At least that's what everyone was saying. In Brooke's opinion Nathan hadn't been the same since he married Haley. Sure, he'd turned into this supposedly great, honorable, stand up guy. But he never seemed to be as happy as he once did.

Brooke scanned from Nathan to Haley. She couldn't tell if she was asleep or passed out on top of her books. Clearly Haley hadn't been getting much sleep lately, and not for fun kinky reasons. She, like Nathan had been having a really hard time lately. Brooke had tried to talk to her, but she just couldn't relate with what Haley was going through. The only thing she'd ever lost in her life was when she was 7 and a car hit her dog.

The way Brooke saw it they were all stuck in this stupid school too much and didn't have time to have lives outside of classes these days. If she weren't there all the time she could only imagine what she could get done! And she definitely wouldn't have to watch Lucas and Peyton make out anymore.

Just as Brooke was imagining how wonderful her life would be without that evil thing called Pucas, her thoughts were interrupted by something just as awful.

"One more thing, everyone remember the Ski trip is coming up on Friday. I think everyone who signed up will have a wonderful time, and remember if you write a paper about it and bring it in, its extra credit"

Brooke's heart sank as she listened to Nick or… Mr. Chavez explain about the ski trip. They'd had had to pay the deposit at the beginning of the school year and it was non-refundable. Brooke couldn't even remember why she wanted to go, that was until she looked over and saw Lucas whispering to Peyton. She had no idea how to ski and she hated the cold weather. The only reason she'd ever agreed to go was because Lucas wanted her to come with him so badly when they were together, figuring it would be a great way to spend some "quality" time together. Now she guessed he'd be spending that "quality" time with Peyton, and she'd be stuck watching.

As soon as class was over Brooke tried to get out of there as fast as she could. The thought of having to talk to Nick, or Lucas or anyone was too much to handle today. She just wanted to go home. Somewhere she just lay there, without being interrupted by anyone. Especially since Rachel was gone until 5:30 to the gym. Unfortunately, just like everything else in her life. Her day didn't go as planned.

"Hey" Lucas whispered knocking on the cracked door a little before walking in. He couldn't help but think how pretty Brooke looked lying there on the bed like that, with her arms wrapped around her pillow. Along with how sad she looked.

"Oh, its you"

"Its me, Rachel said you were up here"

"Remind me to hurt her later" Brooke muttered wishing for once Rachel would actually just go to the gym like she said she was.

"Brooke, why does this have to be hard?"

"It just does. What do you want?"

"I was just wondering if you were going on the trip" Lucas asked, deciding to jump directly to the point. Peyton was at her house waiting for him anyway.

"Lucas, I paid $3,000 to go. I'm going. I don't know how to Ski, and I hate the cold weather, but I'm going"

"I can teach you to ski"

"Lucas, stop" Brooke sighed, frustrated with how completely clueless Lucas was with this situation. She'd broken up with HIM and HE was dating HER former best friend. They weren't supposed to be speaking.

"What?"

"Being so, nice. You don't want to be here talking to me, anymore then I want you here so just go"

"Fine. Brooke?" Lucas asked after a few seconds spent standing in the doorway. He hated leaving this like this with Brooke. He knew the fact that he was with Peyton wasn't easy on her, but he wanted more than anything to be her friend. Have her to talk to like they used to.

"What?"

"Are we ever going to get through this?"

"What's the point? We only have a few more months we have to see each other anyway" Brooke said reminding Lucas they were graduating in 2 months. It wasn't like they had to see each other ever again after that.

"The point is Brooke, you're the one who broke up with me. And I'm really trying here, to have some sort of a relationship with you"

"Seriously, when are you going to stop pulling that _you broke up with me_ line? You were the one kissing Peyton, and it looks like you got what you really wanted"

"Peyton kissed me. And at least Peyton tries to fight for us" Lucas muttered why he was even bothering, he wasn't sure. Brooke was right, they didn't have to be friends. They didn't even have to have any contact with each other. But there was something about her, something that made him miss her so much, even if he was with Peyton.

"She tries to fight for you? Let me ask you a question, in the dictionary of Lucas Scott, does fight mean, steal what she can't have? Because that's the only reason she's with you Lucas. Does she write you letters pouring out her soul to you? Does she wait by the phone for hours when your gone just hoping you'll call? Wondering if you're even thinking about her? I gave you everything I had, Lucas but being with you like that was making me hate you"

"Apparently breaking up didn't help with that. No matter what you think about us, or what you tell yourself. _You_ were everything to me" Lucas said, then shut the door behind him. He couldn't do this anymore with Brooke and he didn't plan too. Clearly she wanted nothing to do with him and he was ok with that. At least that's what he told himself, and Peyton, and Haley and anyone else that asked if he really missed Brooke. But deep down, he did.

When Lucas got to Peyton's she was in her bedroom packing. He looked around the room that was the complete opposite of Brooke's girly room at Rachel's. Black and red walls with dogs and sad quotes written all over them. He wasn't sure how Peyton slept in here every night. Lucas had never really thought about these things until he had actually started dating Peyton. He'd never expected it to be that different from dating Brooke. But he'd clearly been wrong. Brooke had always been into the kissing and cuddling in bed, She'd loved holding hands and just walking together, and of course her kinky sex games. But Peyton, she wasn't into much kissing unless it was saying hey or bye. She was completely against PDA, and so far there hadn't been any sex. Of course that wasn't all Peyton's fault. She'd hinted about it for a couple weeks now, but Lucas had been avoiding it like the plague. It wasn't that he didn't want to be with Peyton, he was just worried about how it was going to be. The only girl he'd ever been with that he cared about was Brooke and he still couldn't imagine being with anyone else, even now that he was with Peyton. But for her sake, and hopefully to ease his guilt, maybe something would happen for them at the ski lodge.

"Ok Scott are you ready?" Peyton asked throwing her last sweater into her bag. She couldn't wait for this trip. A whole 10 days with Lucas all to herself, no school, or homework or anything like that. Just her boyfriend, her and skiing.

"We don't leave until tomorrow"

"Still, I'm excited. So, is Brooke actually coming?"

"Yea, I mean I guess" Lucas said trying to be as casual about it as possible. He knew Peyton wasn't going to be happy with the fact that Brooke was coming, and he didn't want to give her any impression that he might be either.

"This should be interesting"

"She needs the vacation as much as we do"

"Don't get so defensive" Peyton muttered, feeling the moment totally ruined. She hated Lucas got so defensive when the subject of Brooke was brought up. It was almost like he took Brooke's side over hers.

"Sorry"

"I just meant we all haven't been in such tight quarters for a while now"

"She's having a hard time right now, so lets just not do anything to rub it in" Lucas said, giving Peyton a pleading look. Although he wasn't too worried, Peyton normally didn't like to kiss or anything like that around people anyway.

"Like she cared about me when you guys were dating"

"Peyton, she did! I just… its our fault she got so screwed over in this situation and I don't, I'm tired of hurting her"

"Maybe you should just stop worrying about her and focus on you, and us. Lucas we can't work if you spend all this time worrying more about you and her being friends, than us being a couple" Peyton muttered shaking her head slowly. It seemed like all she and Lucas had done since they got together last month was argue. I mean sure, there had been some good times. But lately it seemed like it had been a lot of fighting and ignoring what the real problems were.

"I don't, I just feel bad"

"Don't. She broke up with you remember?" It stung Peyton to say that last sentence. "She broke up with you". She wished so much that it had been the other way around. That Lucas had done the breaking up this time. Maybe it would have given her some piece of mind about their relationship, and take away any fears she had about Lucas only being with her because he couldn't have Brooke. Deep down she knew she and Lucas were meant to be together. They'd always had amazing chemistry and sparks, and she liked to think that Brooke had just been the obstacle that had been in the way so that she and Lucas could see what they really had. Unfortunately, Peyton still had this fear that maybe their meant to be obstacle, had become a little too important to Lucas.

The next morning, Tree Hill High was crawling with seniors waiting in line to get on the bus. Brooke watched as Peyton and Lucas got on together and found a seat. For once Brooke was actually glad she had Rachel, at least she wouldn't be alone for the bus ride and flight. When she really thought about it, Rachel wasn't a bad friend, even with her brutal honesty and catty remarks. She was probably the best friend Brooke had right now. She really took care of Brooke, especially lately with everything that had been going on. But no matter how close she and Rachel had grown as friends, no one could fill the void that Peyton had left when they'd stopped being friends.

Brooke walked onto the bus with Rachel and followed her to the very back so they could sit in their usual seats. Brooke was glad, this kept them nice and far from Lucas and Peyton. Maybe this way she wouldn't have to watch any of their gag worthy boring kisses or have to hear their crappy music. For a split second, Brooke was actually starting to think that maybe this trip was going to be ok. But of course, nothing ever went "ok" for Brooke.

"Hey you, Lollipop and Lightbulb. That's my seat" Whitey snapped, pointing to Lucas and Peyton.

"Coach, there aren't any open seats"

"The very back"

Brooke cringed as she heard Whitey telling Lucas and Peyton to come sit in the seat next to them. Why did this always happen to her? She really couldn't understand it. She wasn't any worse of a person than Peyton was, and here she was stuck with the crappy life.

"Well well, this is cozy" Rachel giggled, looking forward to what was getting ready to happen. She hadn't had any real entertainment since she'd tried to bang Nathan and she was looking forward to some laughs.

"Rachel, promise you wont say anything"

"Me? Never"

"I can't believe he sent us to the back" Lucas ½ laughed, but everyone could tell from his tone he was pretty pissed of.

"I thought you liked backseats Lucas, I mean from what Brooke tells me that's your favorite place to"

"Rachel!"

"Sorry, I just had to get it out of my system. I'm good now" Rachel smiled. Brooke didn't know it, but Rachel was actually doing her a favor, because at that very moment the only thing on Lucas Scott's mind was how much he wished he was sitting with Brooke, instead of Peyton. Unfortunately, like all moments it passed and he remembered that he did like Peyton, even if it wasn't love. Like was all you really needed in high school.

Brooke sat back in her seat and closed her eyes. Maybe she'd just sleep the whole way. That seemed like a good idea, after all she had nothing better to do. And for the first 10 minutes or so, it worked. She didn't have to hear any kissing or music or Rachel's whining. She thought for a minute that she was actually going to be able to get some decent sleep. Then, it started. Her worst nightmare. Of all the painful, heart wrenching things that could have possibly happened on that road trip, this one twisted the knife the worst.

"Come on Luke, its my turn to pick a song" Peyton whined, stealing away the ipod they were sharing. She loved how they had almost identical play lists right down to the most played songs. That was, right until she got up to his number 1 most played song.

"Peyton"

"Plain white T's? Who are they?"

"No one, lets just listen to Dashboard, I know you love them" Lucas said, quickly trying to grab the ipod from her reach, but it was too late, she'd hit play already.

"No, I wanna hear. A Lonely September… Hmmm"

Lucas took a deep breath and hoped Brooke hadn't heard. She'd actually been the one to put that on his Ipod. The truth was, it was their song. Out of all the corny bad songs that Brooke could have chosen to be "their" song. She'd chosen that one. And as lame as he had thought it to be at first, the lyrics did fit them perfectly. He'd found himself listening to it a lot lately, remembering how Brooke used to giggle the whole way through the song and put every lyric with something that had happened with them. So how when he listened to it, it was like a video of them played in his head. Sometimes it was good and it made him smile, just to remember what it had felt like to be with her. Other times it pissed him off, and made him wonder why he'd ever even bothered. Either way, he always ended up hurting.

"What is this? Its terrible, Lucas you have been away from me too long. You're music taste has gone to hell. I mean listen to this

I'm sittin' here all by myself  
just tryin' to think of something to do  
Tryin' to think of something, anything  
just to keep me from thinking of you"

"Hey, I know that one.

But you know it's not working out  
'cause you're all that's on my mind  
One thought of you is all it takes  
to leave the rest of the world behind. Brooke listens to it all the time, and your right, it is crap." Rachel laughed, at least until she realized too what the song actually was.

"Lucas, I can't believe this. Its actually burning my ears if that's possible"

"Yea, its really not me"

This was one of those times that Brooke felt like crawling under her covers and crying. Could things get any worse? What next? Was Lucas going to pull out all her letters so that he and Peyton could have a good laugh about those too? He was such an asshole. Why did she always have to fall for the jerks? Right about then she was actually wishing she had some of Peyton's drugs with her. Things couldn't get worse.

"Ok. I am going to read out the room assignments now so that there is no question about it after we get on the plane and get there, got it? I better not hear any complaining from you all since you chose them. Now, Scott and Scott… meaning the 2 boys. Rachel Gatina and Bevin Maskey, Haley James Scott and Ashley Summers, Peyton Sawyer and Brooke Davis"

Brooke stopped listening at that point and swore to herself she was going to stop thinking things couldn't get worse. How could she have forgotten about that? Of course she'd picked Peyton. She wasn't allowed to room with a boy and at that point Peyton wasn't a boyfriend stealing, cheating, slutty, backstabbing, betraying, sneaking, lying crackwhore of a best friend. She could tell by the look on Peyton's face that she was just about as thrilled. Then it got worse.

"That's ok. Nathan will probably be with Haley so I can just stay with you. We wanted so time anyway"

"Oh, yea. Right"

A heart attack was sounding pretty good to Lucas right then. Between Peyton's pleading for sex, Rachel's evil glares and Brooke refusal to even look at him, he was sure a hospital visit was in his near future. And a heart attack seemed like an easier way to go rather than to have Peyton, Rachel or Brooke kill him.

If Brooke thought the bus ride had been bad, she couldn't have begun to imagine the plane ride. Just when she thought she was free from the Pucas wrath, all nice and comfortable in her window seat, listening to her 10-year-old Brittany Spears album, she heard the cursing.

"Damn it" Lucas mumbled under his breath. He'd completely forgotten that he and Brooke had booked their tickets at the same time, right beside each other.

"You've got to be kidding me"

"Were we that attached at the hip?"

"Just go ask Whitey if you can trade" Brooke sighed not bothering to take out her earphones. She sure as hell wasn't sitting with him on a 4-hour flight, especially if she had to spend the next 10 days rooming with Peyton. Part of her did hope Lucas and Peyton would end up having sex, and lots of it. That way she could have the room all to herself.

"Yea, actually Mr. Chavez was looking for another seat"

"Sit"

"No, I mean I can ask him" Lucas said, really not caring where he sat at this point. If he traded with Chavez he was just going to end up sitting next to that exchange student who did nothing but pick his nose and talk about all the naked women he'd never seen.

"Lucas, sit. I'll listen to my music, you listen to yours. We don't have to speak"

"Fine with me"

They both sat quietly, following the set rules for a good hour before one of them finally broke. Not surprisingly, it was of course Lucas. In the hour that had passed it had occurred to him that Brooke had serious issues with Mr. Chavez. She never answered questions in class, they never made eye contact, and she would have rather had Lucas sit with her than him. It all seemed kind of strange.

"So, Chavez must have really pissed you off to let me sit with you rather than him" Lucas said, wondering if she would even respond. It took her a minute, but in true Brooke Davis fashion, she did. He knew as well as she did that she couldn't resist the chance to talk if she had it.

"Lucas"

"What did he give you a bad grade or something?"

"No" Brooke muttered not liking at all where this was going. She wasn't sure if he had somehow found out the truth about what had happened, or just in true Lucas style had noticed the tension.

"Because I can help you in his class"

"I'm doing fine in his class"

"Haley had this theory that he slept with his students but Peyton thinks she's crazy since he hasn't hit on her" This really hit Brooke hard. At first she'd been pretty sure that Lucas was just asking innocently, but now she had no idea. Either way, she decided to prove to him that she wasn't a hypocrite and tell him the truth. If she was lucky enough it might at least make him jealous.

"He does"

"What? Hit on Peyton?"

"Sleep with his students" Brooke ½ laughed. Lucas was so dumb sometimes it was cute.

"Really? I knew it. Who?"

"Me"

"Seriously, was it that Shelley chick? She's some kind of closet slut I--, your serious" Lucas paused for a second to try and figure out if she was lying or not. Then again, Brooke didn't really ever lie about who she slept with, at least he didn't think she did.

"You can put your Ipod back in now"

"Brooke, when?"

"You don't deserve to hear this, but just so there's no confusion, it was _after_ we broke up, but _before_ I knew he was our teacher" Brooke said, making sure to clarify that she hadn't cheated on him or anything. That was the most important thing. She needed him to know that the both times they had dated she had been completely faithful, just so that it might hurt him that much more. Then maybe he could begin to know what kind of pain she had felt.

"Wow, are you, still?"

"Yes Lucas. That's why I have to hide my face in class and I'm stuck sitting with you"

"What happened?" Lucas asked after a long pause. At first he was just going to leave it alone, but the more he thought about it, what could it hurt? Brooke already hated him so asking couldn't do but so much more damage to their already destroyed relationship.

"Apparently blonde skinny bitches are more fun than I am ok? Hell, after all you should know that. Look can we just not talk about this anymore? And please don't give Peyton the satisfaction of knowing that's 2 guys who have cheated on me with blondes. Thanks."

"Peyton's not more fun than you"

"What?" Brooke asked. She had to admit, this had caught her off guard. Lucas was usually so protective of Peyton when he talked about her. It was like he'd try and prove she was better. So for him to say that was pretty much huge.

"I mean I like Peyton and all. She's great, hell I'm dating her but she's way too serious, if that makes you feel any better"

"It doesn't" Brooke said, turning her ipod back on full blast. When really, the truth was that it did. Having Lucas say that gave her that those little butterflies in her stomach. And while she'd never admit it to anyone, it gave her a little bit of hope, and made him hate him just a little bit less. It was at this moment that it occurred to Brooke that maybe this trip didn't have to be miserable at all. In fact, she was pretty sure she could make it a hell of a lot of fun for her, just by playing in what according to Peyton was "Fair".

**A Lonely September – Plain White T's.**

I'm sittin' here all by myself  
just tryin' to think of something to do  
Tryin' to think of something, anything  
just to keep me from thinking of you  
But you know it's not working out  
'cause you're all that's on my mind  
One thought of you is all it takes  
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself  
that you're not the one for me  
But the more I think, the less I believe it  
and the more I want you here with me  
You know the holidays are coming up  
I don't want to spend them alone  
Memories of Christmas time with you  
will just kill me if I'm on my own

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do  
we just can't seem to get it right  
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight  
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar  
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far  
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you  
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand  
we've got nothing left to prove

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then  
we were just kids  
And I didn't mean to give you chills  
the way that I kiss  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but **I did**  
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did  
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did  
No, you didn't mean to love me back  
**But you did**


	2. Chapter 2

Hey everyone! Thanks SO much! The reviews were AWESOME!!! Keep it up please!!! Its seriously amazing! Anyway… here is Chapter 2!! Hope you enjoy it!

The hotel they were staying at was nothing to be desired. Brooke

wasn't sure she'd ever laid eyes on anything so dirty and woodsy. It

was actually making her miss Rachel's lake house. The whole place

looked like it was built out of trees, and had dead animals hanging

all over the walls. As the class walked in one by one, she could only

imagine what the room she was staying in was going to be like. With

any luck it, would be full of mold, since after all Peyton was

allergic to it.

Lucas was actually having the same thoughts about the place as Brooke,

of course minus the whole mold thing. He'd definitely expected

something nicer for what he'd paid, but maybe that was just something

Brooke had rubbed off on him when they were dating. The old Lucas

hadn't cared about this sort of thing. He'd just be happy he was there

to have a good time. As long as there were beds, food and skis he'd

try and enjoy the place. After all this was a vacation and he'd have

to try and make the best of it.

Meanwhile, Peyton couldn't get it out of her head how much she loved

it place. It was so rustic and quaint; she'd always imagined a place

like this. Not to mention, it was romantic. A fireplace burning, a

stand to buy hot chocolate, and she guessed very few people were in

the lobby during the day, so hopefully it would give her a chance to

get some drawing done. Then there was the other thing she wanted to

get done while they were there. She'd been waiting to "be" with Lucas

for a long time now, and she couldn't imagine a more perfect place for

their first time.

"Lucas, its amazing. Can you believe it?" Peyton asked. Lucas and

Brooke could both see how excited she was by the place and neither

could believe it.

"I think the floors gonna fall in"

"Look! Our rooms are just a few down from each other"

"Oh joy" Brooke muttered, pushing past Lucas and Peyton to get into

the room first. There was no way she was going to give up the good

bed.

"I'm gonna go get my stuff put away, meet me downstairs in 30?"

"You got it"

Brooke gagged as Lucas kissed Peyton's cheek before walking into his

own room. But she couldn't help but gain a little satisfaction from

the fact that Peyton had pulled away slightly when he did it. That

couldn't have been good. Lucas was a very good cheek kisser and Brooke

couldn't remember a time, even once when she'd pulled away like Peyton

had done, even when she was mad at him. Maybe there was, after all

trouble in paradise.

"Who says you get the bed next to the window?" Peyton asked. Brooke

couldn't tell if she was being funny or serious. Either way, she

wasn't in the mood for anything Peyton had to say.

"Who says you get to keep stealing my boyfriend"

"Fine. Brooke is this how this whole trip is going to be? You broke up

with him remember?"

"Oh. That's right. It's all my fault. I mean I should have known

better than to love him, after all, all good friends fall for their

best friends boyfriends" Brooke smiled. Now she was being sarcastic

and Peyton wasn't enjoying it. She'd forgotten how much fun being a

bitch to Peyton really was.

"Brooke. I said I wasn't going to do anything about it and you still

broke up with him"

"And I'm guessing he doesn't know the real reason behind that does he?"

"What?" Peyton asked, freezing. She hadn't really thought about this

until now. How would Lucas re-act if he knew the truth? The real

reason Brooke had broken up with him.

"Oh. I'm sure Lucas would understand you telling me you had feelings

for him. I mean, he's an understanding guy right?"

"Who says he'd believe you?"

"Why wouldn't he? Its not like I'd be lying to him and he still

doesn't have a good reason why I broke up with him" Brooke said. She

was only speaking the truth. She knew she could savatoge Lucas and

Peyton's relationship. The question was, why hadn't she done it yet?

"Hey, look. No blood shed" Rachel said, interrupting Brooke's thoughts

as she barged into the room.

"I need a drink" Brooke muttered, giving up on the whole fight. There

was no point even talking about it. As much as she didn't like Lucas

or Peyton right now, she wasn't that mean. So mean that she'd

purposely try and destroy their relationship. Besides, knowing Lucas's

past with relationships. It'd probably destroy itself.

"Yea me too. Hey, I'll be there in a second"

"Drown her for me?" Peyton asked, once Brooke had made her way all the

way out of the room and shut the door.

"No, but I will keep her out of the room long enough for you and Lucas

to have some fun"

"What?"

"Sex. Come on Peyton, he's Lucas; he's probably craving it. From what

I hear he and Brooke were like rabbits" Rachel laughed, raising her

eyebrows at Peyton. She could tell she was making Peyton

uncomfortable, and she loved it.

"So?"

"So, don't you think its time the two of you finally got in the sack?

I'll give you 2 hours, tops"

"Thanks?" Peyton asked, wondering why Rachel was being so nice. But

the more she thought about it, they had almost been friends at one

point. Maybe Rachel just understood what she was going through or

something.

"No prob. And hey, you might want to change into something a little

more… revealing? Show some neck or something"

Peyton was a little embarrassed by Rachel's comment, but she had had a

point. She and Lucas had been together for over a month now and they

still hadn't had sex, or anything close to it. She'd tried to pretend

it was because the relationship was new, and Lucas didn't want to take

things to fast but it was hard. Especially when he and Brooke had

slept together on like their second date. Then she'd told herself that

it was because he cared more about her than he did Brooke. That he was

just using Brooke for sex, but that had stopped working too. In her

eyes, he didn't have an excuse anymore. In fact, it was going to

happen today. Everyone else would be out getting dinner so it was the

perfect time for them to be alone.

Instead of putting on her coat to go down and meet Lucas, Peyton

slipped off her sweater and looked down at her bra. Plain, white and

boring. She'd have to do something about that. So she spent the next

15 minutes getting ready, knowing Lucas would come upstairs looking

for her.

Lucas had waited downstairs in the lobby for Peyton for 45 minutes. He

had no idea what was taking her so long. They hadn't eaten since lunch

and he knew she had to be as hungry as he was. The only thing that

came to mind was that maybe Brooke had killed her or something. After

seeing Brooke come down the elevator with a smile on her face, Lucas

decided to go upstairs and check on Peyton. Maybe she'd fallen asleep

or something.

He made his way up the long winded steps to the second floor and then

to Peyton and Brooke's door. He knocked a few times until he finally

heard Peyton's voice.

"Come in"

It sounded shaky and a lot quieter than usual but Lucas didn't think

too much of it. She was probably just tired or something. So without

another thought, Lucas slipped the keycard Peyton had given him

through the door and turned the doorknob. What he saw next, Lucas

wasn't sure he'd ever be prepared for.

There was Peyton, lying on the bed, in nothing but a black lacey bra

and underwear. He was completely speechless, and not the good kind

either. He tried hard not to look stupid as he stood there, but he

knew that wasn't possible. So many things were racing through his

mind. Was he ready for this? Was she? Did he really love her? Why

wasn't he as happy seeing Peyton in a bra as he was Brooke? Would she

be as good as Brooke? What would happen if he accidentally called her

Brooke? His mind was racing as he stood there, just staring at her.

"Lucas?" Peyton finally asked, not having got the re-action she had hoped for.

"Oh, um. Yea?"

"Come on"

"I, um" Lucas scratched the back of this head and dodged Peyton's

words. This had definitely never happened before. He had never dreaded

sex like this. He knew it wasn't fair to Peyton but he didn't know

what to do. Did he tell her no? He wasn't ready. Or did he just go

along with it and hope for the best? His mind was racing again as he

tried to figure out why this was happening. With Brooke, he'd wanted

more than anything to be with her. He'd spent 8 months pining for her

and wanting her, and then when he had her, it just happened. Nothing

was awkward or scary about it. His guess was maybe because he'd spent

so much time looking forward to it and wanting it, that when it

happened, it was perfect. But with Peyton, the whole relationship was

almost forced. It wasn't that he didn't like Peyton, because he did.

She was his girlfriend and he was glad she was, but the whole want and

pining just hadn't been there with her. He hadn't had to wait for her

or hope to be with her before they were together, she'd just magically

told him one day she loved him, and then poof. They were together.

"Forget it"

Peyton's words interrupted Lucas's thoughts and he focused his

attention back to Peyton. She looked so sad and nervous lying there.

He knew then, that if he said no, nothing was ever going to be the

same. It wasn't fair to her to say no. So, Lucas did the only thing he

could think to do, he started to slip his shirt off.

Down in the lobby Brooke waited patiently for Rachel, so together they

could go find a bar that might both their fake IDs. She had a feeling

she was going to need a lot of alcohol this trip, as possibly some

good looking men. She scanned around the room slowly for possible

prospects. In one corner was Nathan, sitting on the couch with Skills

and Mouth laughing. Been there, done that, had a sex tape to prove it.

Next was Haley, definitely wasn't doing that, but Brooke did pause for

a second to notice how sad she looked. Sitting on a chair, book in

hand, but staring at the floor instead. Brooke's heart ached for her

friend. She'd lost something so dear to her and no one, not even

Nathan was really understanding of what had happened. Brooke had

almost brought herself to go and talk to Haley, maybe ask her to come

and grab some drinks with them, that was until Rachel caught up with

her.

Rachel Gatina did not consider herself a mean person. Sure, she had

her moments where she was pretty sure everyone hated her. But the way

she saw it, she always did things for a greater cause. When she had

first come to Tree Hill, and tried to steal Lucas she'd known from

almost the very begging it was never going to work, in the end it had

just made Brooke and Lucas stronger. Then, when it came to Nathan and

Haley, sadly she'd known that that plan wasn't going to work either,

but end the end it had given them a little more time together. Through

the time Rachel had been there, she'd learned the order of Tree Hill

and almost become fans of certain things. She'd come to terms with the

fact that Nathan and Haley were going to be together, happy or not.

Peyton was going to continue wearing her hair in those terrible curls,

and no matter what happened, Brooke and Lucas were going to keep

pining for each other.

While everyone in Tree Hill called Nathan and Haley "the" couple.

Rachel didn't see it that way. Sure, ok Nathan and Haley were married

or whatever, but they no longer had that look. The look that Brooke

and Lucas had. Rachel had long since been a Brooke and Lucas fan after

realizing how much easier everyone in Tree Hill's life was when they

were together. Lucas wasn't having heart attacks, Haley wasn't getting

hit by cars, and Brooke wasn't crying herself to sleep every night.

And since she'd long since become what she considered good friends

with Brooke, Rachel decided there was only one thing to do. Help her

friend get her boyfriend back, in as sneaky of a way as possible.

Now while trying to hook Lucas and Peyton up seemed completely against

the set plan. It wasn't. Rachel had the whole thing planned out and

she was almost 99 sure it was all going to work out perfectly.

"You ready?" Brooke asked, getting anxious for alcohol. It had been a

long day and she was pretty sure that she really didn't want to

remember any of it.

"Um yea, but seriously. Are you wearing that?" Rachel asked pointing

to Brooke's cute, but long sleeve shirt and Uggs. Brooke let out a

long sigh and got Rachel's point. She definitely wasn't going to be

picking up any hot guys in something like that.

"No"

"Right, ok well you go change and I'll see if I can get us a cab or a

limo or something"

Brooke nodded and then made her way back up the spiral staircase

towards her room. As she walked she tried to think what to wear. She

hadn't really packed anything "that" sexy, since she really hadn't

planned on doing anything but moping. But then again she has Brooke

Davis, and she had to have something in her suite case. Meanwhile

Rachel waited downstairs for the fall out.

Brooke Davis wasn't sure she'd ever actually been in complete shock.

Everything big in her life had been somewhat expected for the most

part, and when it wasn't she'd always been able to handle it for the

most part for the exception of 3 times. The first being when she found

out Lucas and Peyton had been sneaking around, the second being when

Lucas had told her he wanted to be with her at the end of junior year,

and the third being when Peyton revealed her feelings for Lucas.

That's why Brooke was so shocked to be that shocked when she opened

the door to see Lucas and Peyton on top of each other. Of course.

Everything bad in her life had to do with Lucas and Peyton, why should

today be any different.

She opened the door just long enough to see what looked like Peyton

taking her bra off and Lucas working on his pants, and slammed it

again. It only took her a couple seconds to feel completely sick, and

just another minute to finally make it into the bathroom. Somehow this

hurt so much more than she'd ever imagined. Of course Lucas and Peyton

were going to have sex at some point, but she'd just never imagined

she'd have to see it, or that her heart would ache that bad. There was

something special about the fact that Lucas and Peyton had never slept

together. It was something that Brooke had held onto for a long time.

It was like he'd never cared enough about Peyton to go that far with

her, but he had her.

It only took Lucas a total of 3 seconds to get completely dressed and

make his way out of the room to find Brooke. Probably because he

hadn't ever been completely undressed. He was so worried about Brooke

that he'd left Peyton lying on the bed basically naked. It didn't take

him long to find her either. The girls bathroom in the hallway was

completely empty, minus Brooke sitting on one of the fancy "log"

benches that had been put in there for decoration. From what he could

tell she wasn't crying anymore, but could tell from the tear stains

she had been.

"Brooke" Lucas signed sitting down next to her. As soon as he did it,

Brooke slid over a few inches so they couldn't even accidentally

touch.

"Shouldn't you get back to your sex?"

"It wasn't sex"

"It was almost sex" Brooke muttered not believing that he had the

nerve to deny this. He'd seem him taking off his pants, and Peyton

un-hooking her bra. She wasn't stupid and she'd definitely had enough

experience in the sex department to know when she was seeing sex.

"No, it wasn't"

"Then what do you call it?"

"When you came in I was putting my pants back on" Lucas sighed,

slightly embarrassed that he was having to admit all of this to her.

He wished she'd just never seen any of it in the first place.

"Right, so it was like, after sex"

"No. We didn't do it"

"What?" Brooke asked, giving him her best death glare. How could he

lie to her? On top of everything else, how could he even have the

nerve to try and lie to her?

"I told her I wasn't ready"

"You turned down sex?"

"Its not that crazy" Lucas said, a little pissed that Brooke looked so

shocked. He wasn't that horny. Not like Nathan or Tim. And he so had

turned down sex before, just not with her.

"Do you not remember us dating?"

"Its different for me Brooke"

"Different?" Brooke asked after a pause. She couldn't figure out what

he was insinuating here. Was he saying that she was just some kind of

whore that would sleep with anything with a penis? She decided to give

him the benefit of the doubt and let him explain himself before she

Peyton slapped him.

"The only person I've ever slept with that I care about is you. Other

than Nikki, the only person I've ever been with is you and I'm just

not sure I'm ready to be with anyone else"

"Even Peyton?"

"Do you remember the first time we were together after we'd gotten

back together?" Lucas asked. As he said it, it all flooded back to her

and she tried to hide her face so he couldn't see her slight smile. Of

course she remembered it.

"Yea"

"It was perfect. It was right after that first basketball game. It

wasn't planned, or forced. You looked so beautiful in your

cheerleading uniform with your hair in your face and the sparkles

around your eyes"

"I was all sweaty in the back seat of your car" Brooke sighed,

remembering that they'd had a 30 minute make out session before hand

and the windows were so steamed out they were dripping water. She knew

she had to have looked terrible after that, her hair all set and her

lips all swollen.

"That wasn't the point. The point was neither of us had to discuss or

it ask "Should we do this?" We just did. There was nothing awkward, no

head bumping or anything. It didn't matter that we were in the

backseat and it was 34 degrees outside. It was like there was no one

else in the world. I always had that feeling when we were together"

"Me too"

"Now I don't know what I'm more afraid of. Not having that same

feeling with Peyton… or having it" Lucas sighed. Lately he'd found it

a lot easier to be honest with Brooke, even more so then when they

were dating. Maybe it was because they were friends now, maybe that

was how it was supposed to be. It still stung for it not to be her

that he was kissing, but at least they could talk now.

"You deserve to have the feeling with Peyton Luke. And so does she"

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure" Brooke sighed, trying to give him a slight smile. Her last

sentence had stung more than she had wanted it too. Here she'd spent

so much energy being mad at Lucas and ignoring him, and how she was

basically giving him and Peyton her blessing?

"Did you ever have that feeling with anyone else?"

Brooke paused for a second. Of course she'd never had that feeling

with anyone else. She hadn't even known Lucas had had that feeling

when they were together, she'd always just thought it was her. But now

came the hard part. The part where she had to be the better person and

give Lucas his chance. She knew she'd never had that kind of feeling

with anyone else and probably never would. But now he had to find out

for himself if he ever could. So instead of lying, Brooke decided to

just skirt around the question the best she knew how.

"Luke, it was probably just lust. We don't have that kind of love remember?"

After his conversation with Brooke, Lucas hadn't felt much like

talking anymore. He want back to hiss room and laid flat on his bed,

only for Peyton to meet him in the bedroom a few minutes later. He

guessed that it didn't matter if he felt like talking or not, he owed

it to Peyton, his girlfriend to explain what had happened.

"Haley said you were in the girls bathroom. I guess Brooke was in

there" Peyton muttered lying down next to Lucas on the bed.

"I had to make sure she was ok"

"Did you tell her she didn't have to worry. No sex"

"Peyton" Lucas sighed. He didn't have the energy to fight with her

tonight. Not after the day they'd had.

"I thought things were going to be better when we were together Lucas.

You know you didn't have to say yes. When I kissed you, you could have

said "No Peyton, I'm still in love with her" or something"

"I'm not still in love with her, and I want to be with you Peyton"

"Then why are you always so worried? So what if she sees us kissing or

holding hands?" Peyton asked, her eyes getting teary. The guilt was

hitting Lucas now. She was right. He could have said something, but

no. Brooke had told him to take a chance with her and he had. He'd

spent a lot of time wondering if he were with Peyton because he loved

her, or if it was all because Brooke had told him to be.

"I'm guessing you wouldn't want Jake to see us kiss or hold hands"

"That's different"

"Why?" Lucas asked. He still saw the same hurt in Peyton's face when

she talked about Jake that he had when Brooke was mentioned. If there

was ever a relationship based off of convince and rebound, it was

there's. There was no love involved, at least no real love. He wasn't

even sure love like that could develop in a relationship where two

people were still hung up on their former lover. It was a relationship

built on denial. Neither could admit they had made a mistake getting

involved, because both were afraid of what would happen if they were

alone.

"Because he's Jake. He's my Jake"

"Right"

"I didn't mean it like that" Peyton said quickly after realizing what

she had just said.

"We should get some sleep"

"Lucas, I love you. I didn't mean it like that, please"

"Peyton, just get some sleep. We'll both be better in the morning"

Lucas whispered kissing the top of her hand. They were both so

confused there was no point in trying to figure out things tonight.

So, after giving Peyton a quick kiss and watching her leave, Lucas put

in his earphones and fell asleep.

Brooke meanwhile laid in bed with her own headphones in, staring off

at the bathroom door. She was a little surprised when Peyton came in,

but tried not to look it. Instead she turned over to face the other

side of the room, and let a few tears slip down her cheek before

ultimately deciding to get up and go find Rachel. There was no reason

for her to be stuck sad and alone on their senior trip, especially

after everything she'd been through today. The whole speech telling

Lucas he should try with Peyton had to have done something good for

her karma.

Down the hall Rachel was in her room, waiting for Brooke. She knew it

was just a matter of time before Brooke came in and told her the whole

story of interrupting sex with Lucas and Peyton. And while she seemed

like a terrible friend for putting her friend through that, deep down

she knew it was for the best. Either it would help Brooke move on from

Lucas, or it would scar Lucas and Peyton so bad that they wouldn't try

sex for a really lone time. Either way, it worked in Brooke's favor

and Rachel just hoped she'd somehow get back to the crazy Brooke she'd

met when she first moved to Tree Hill.

Brooke tip toped down the hallway, used her card key to get into the

bedroom, and crawled into the bed next to Rachel. Both girls were

silent for a second while one waited for the other one to say

something.

"Thanks" Brooke finally said, giving Rachel a small smile.

"For what?"

"Being a devious sneaky bitch"

"Who told you?" Rachel asked, feeling pretty proud of herself and her plan.

"I guessed"

"Sorry it had to hurt"

"Its ok. I think I've moved on. I'm going to really try and be friends

with Lucas for once, and maybe find someone knew" Brooke sighed. The

thought of someone knew hurt, but she had to at least try. Maybe

someone her own age that wasn't a teacher or a jackass.

"And Peyton?"

"Oh, I still plan on ripping her curls out one by one"

"I wouldn't worry about her, I have a feeling she's going to have

enough trouble as it is"


	3. Chapter 3

Here is Chapter 3! I cant swear I'll get these next chapters up fast but I'll try! Thanks so much for all the reviews! You guys are amazing!

Brooke woke up the morning of their second day to find the hallways filled with guys in toboggans and girls who looked like play boy bunnies. Sure, she knew this was a ski trip, but she hadn't actually imagined any of her friends skiing, especially her. This trip had originally been about sex, and fun and spending a fun week with her boyfriend. And now, here she was, alone stuck staring back Bevin, Haley, Shelly and even Rachel all suited up in their marsh mellow coats and ski boots. Brooke felt like gagging herself. What was up with her supposed friends? Who in their right mind would really want to go out and fall over and over in the cold snow for hours. With her luck she'd break a leg or something and be in a cast all summer.

"Brooke, get dressed" Haley said, urging Brooke to come skiing with them. This was the first time Brooke had seen Haley look happy or excited about anything in a while. That was almost enough to persuade her to do it, _almost_ but not quite.

"You guys can't be serious"

"We are on a ski trip…"

"I realize this tutor bunny but you know, no one ever actually skis on these trips" Brooke whined wishing that were true. Clearly all she'd ever heard about the senior ski trip had been completely wrong.

"Actually, we're the only ones left. Even Whitey went out and hit the slopes an hour ago"

"The only ones huh?" Brooke pointed discretely over to Lucas and Peyton who were gaining on them in the hallway. Clearly they weren't out skiing.

"Well who wants to ski when they have a sex hangover?"

"Bevin"

"Actually, Nathan said Lucas was actually in the room all night. Alone"

Haley said, giving Brooke a comforting smile. Brooke had to admit, it did make things a little better knowing that Lucas' best friend was on her side, and the information she was going to be able to give her through-out this trip was going to be crucial.

"Well that doesn't surprise me, hey where are the guys anyway?"

"Skills said they were going out to check the slopes for some cute Bunnies. Isn't that sweet?"

"Sure Bev" Rachel sighed, giving the rest of the group a slight head shake at Bevin's expense.

"Ok, I think thats definitely a sign we should get going. Now. Hey Luke, when are you guys hitting the slopes?" Haley asked, grabbing a groggy Lucas' attention has he made his way down towards them with Peyton.

"I don't think we are"

"Lucas"

"What? You mean you actually wanted to ski? No one skis on these things" Lucas whined, giving Peyton a shocked "Are you kidding me?" look.

"See!"

"We'll be out after breakfast"

"Shit, I forgot my food card. Meet me downstairs?" Peyton asked, checking both her back pockets for the designated food cards they'd each been given for the trip.

"Will you actually come this time?"

"Yes, asshole"

"Wow, its getting a little chilly in here. I think we're just gonna go outside and warm up" Rachel smiled raising her eyebrows at Brooke. Brooke knew what she meant but wasn't in the mood for Rachel's so called "well intentions" this morning.

"I'll catch up with you guys in later"

"I can't believe people are actually skiing"

"I know! This definitely wasn't what I had planned on doing" Brooke sighed trying to sound frustrated, when really she was just glad she wasn't the only one who'd come on this trip planning to do nothing.

"Me either"

"Right, so I better go get some breakfast"

"You can eat with Peyton and I if you want" Lucas offered, completely serious. He knew she probably wouldn't go for it but he figured he'd at least try. Breakfast with Peyton this morning was going to be anything but enjoyable after last night, and he was trying to hold off the _them _conversation as long as possible.

"Wow, that sounds, umm, fun"

"You'd be helping me avoid a really awkward conversation about where our relationship is heading"

"Ouch, sounds bad" Brooke cringed for Lucas. But that one sentence of his had actually made her whole morning.

"After last night"

"Hey, if you aren't ready you aren't ready. Don't let her make you feel bad when you're the one trying to make things good for you two. Peyton has a tendency of doing that"

"You're telling me. So, you coming?" Lucas asked, almost begging.

"Why not, the worst that could happen is her stab me in the back with her breakfast knife"

"And you'll be nice?"

"Do I have too?" Brooke asked, not seeing why she had to be nice since the whole thing wasn't really her idea. But, she'd agree and be as nice as possible. At least the kind of nice that Lucas would agree with and Peyton would see right through.

"Brooke"

"Fine, but if she reaches for that knife I'm stabbing first"

Brooke and Lucas went down together to find a table, and Peyton met them shortly after. Brooke could tell as soon as she'd come up to the table she'd done more than get her food card. Her blonde curls were tighter, along with the sweater she was wearing (Probably thanks to a push up bra). Her make up was finished, eyes lined and all, and she had on jewelry.

Lucas on the other hand, in true guy fashion had noticed nothing different about his newly groomed girlfriend. The fact that her make up was done had completely by-passed his eyes, even as he stared right at her. Compared to Brooke's clear warm completion, Peyton's eyeliner and pink blush were almost non-existent in Lucas's mind. Her hair was finished, but Lucas didn't notice this either. Compared to Brooke's always-shiny straight auburn hair, Peyton's bottle job blonde curls just didn't match up. They never looked quite as fixed and so when she was standing next to Brooke, Lucas couldn't tell a difference. Then there was her sweater. Now this, on any other day since they'd gotten together Lucas would have noticed the sudden increase from a B to a C, especially in a tight sweater like the one she was wearing. But not this morning. Not as she walked up and stood right next to Brooke's completely natural 32 DD.

In all fairness Lucas didn't mean to think this way, in fact he didn't even really know he was doing it. In his mind, his idea of the perfect looking woman was Brooke Davis. Even back when he had had a crush on Peyton, Brooke Davis was still the ideal. Now it wasn't that he didn't think Peyton was pretty, because he did. There was just a difference in his mind. Peyton was cute, like a puppy or a kitten. She smiled and the first thing that came to his mind was "aww". But Brooke, Brooke was just mind blowing to him. It never failed for her to almost take his breathe away. Every time she walked into a room when he wasn't expecting it, or smiled at him his whole body went numb. That was just the effect she had on him, and probably every other guy in the world.

"Brooke"

Peyton stood there, mouth almost completely open in shock to see Brooke sitting with Lucas. Well maybe not shock, now that she saw it, it didn't actually surprise her that much. Things like this always-ended up happening, she just hadn't learned to accept it yet. Now she had two choices. A) Throw a fit until Lucas finally just made Brooke leave, ultimately causing another fight for them or B) Play super nice, impress Lucas and drive Brooke completely insane. B definitely sounded like the better option.

"Everyone else is already gone, I just thought she wouldn't want to eat alone" Lucas said trying to think of the simplest way to defend his actions.

"Right, well it'll be nice, I mean we haven't done this in a while"

"Yea"

"Have you guys ordered yet?" Peyton asked looking through her menu, making sure to avoid all eye contact with Lucas for now. She was furious with him, but under no circumstances was she going to let it show. Not in front of Brooke.

"I'm still looking"

"Oh no"

If there was one thing both Lucas and Peyton knew about Brooke, it was her terrible decision making skills. When it came to anything with choices she could never make up her mind. Restaurants were the worst, especially the ones with the really long menu's. First there was the drink choice, then the main course and of course, dessert. And it wasn't so bad for Brooke, just the people that were with her who were waiting.

"Brooke, come on. Just choose" Peyton whined. Brooke was at10 minutes now and still hadn't decided on what to eat.

"I can't decide. Bacon and eggs or Grits and toast?"

"Which is it ma'am?" The waiter impatiently for the 10th time.

"She'll have an egg white omelet with cheddar cheese and sausage on the side" Lucas finally said taking Brooke's menu from her so she couldn't look anymore. He'd always had to do this when they were dating.

"Ma'am?"

"Yea, sounds good"

"That was amazing. I always try to order for her and she never lets me" Peyton laughed, in sheer astonishment at how Brooke had agreed with what Lucas had ordered for her.

"I'm just that good"

"Liar. You only know I like it because that's what you made me for a solid week when I had strep thoat"

"When did you have strep throat?" Peyton asked, trying to think of a time when Brooke had been out of school this year. She couldn't remember any.

"A few weeks before the wedding. I stayed with them because Karen didn't think I should be home sick alone, and so Lucas got up and made me breakfast every morning, then pretended to go to school, and once his mom was gone he snuck back in and watch chick flicks with me"

"You mean Chick Flick. We only watched the Princess Bride. 5 times"

"Its my favorite" Brooke said, rolling her eyes at Lucas while he shook his head at her. For the first time in months, it felt good with him. Joking and remembering with him, the pain was still there, but seemed to dull some. She wasn't sure if it was because maybe her anger had seized some, or maybe it was the satisfaction she was getting talking about _them_ in front of Peyton. Either way, it felt good and she didn't want it to end.

"Clearly"

"Then Lucas got strep a week later, and I was stuck watching all his movies and reading to him"

"Stuck? You read me the Princess Bride and I had absolutely no control over it" Lucas sighed, again with the headshake. But the truth was, he had enjoyed it. Every second that she'd laid there in his arms reading to him about True Love, and the obstacles that came between the two lovers. The whole story had almost reminded him of them, and as Brooke brought it all back up, it took Lucas a minute to realize that he and Brooke were no longer Buttercup and Westley, it was him and Peyton.

"And you loved it"

"Wow, I really don't remember this"

"I think you'd gone to see Pete or something" Brooke said, trying to remember where Peyton had been. At that point she'd basically been living off in her own world, not really talking to anyone. All she knew was that when Peyton had come back from her trip, that had been when things had gotten bad.

"Jake"

"What? No, you went and saw Pete"

"Right. Pete" Peyton smiled, remembering after a second that she hadn't told anyone about Jake. She'd never let on that he was the reason for all of this. The reason she was with Lucas now. At first she'd thanked him, and been so grateful that he'd let her go. But lately, she had found herself wondering if she'd made the right choice after all. Sure, she did love Lucas, but she loved Jake too. And she had wanted more than anything to be with Lucas at first, but now it seemed like since she had him, the chase was over and neither knew what to do from here.

"So my mom called. Carolina sent me a letter yesterday" Lucas said, changing the obviously awkward subject to something he thought was a little happier.

"And…"

"I'm in"

"AH! Lucas! That's awesome! Wow, it'll be like high school never ended. You and me and Haley at Carolina, Nathan at Duke, Peyton at" It wasn't until Brooke got to Peyton's name that she realized she didn't know where Peyton was going. For a split second she had no idea what she was going to say next, until luckily Peyton chimed in.

"You got into Carolina?"

"Yea, I got the letter last week. Its amazing what rich parents will do for you"

"I thought you wanted to go to NYU" Peyton said, without even bothering to look happy for her friend.

"I did, but Lucas and I were dating at the time and so after talking about it, I applied to UNC for the fun of it since Luke was going and I actually got in. Where are you going?"

"The great THCC. Tree Hill Community College. Turns out dating a rock star, flying to Savannah to see JAKE, not Pete, having a mom die, a crazy brother come back to kill you, getting shot and loosing your best friend really does affect your grades"

"Peyton, I" Both Brooke and Lucas were completely speechless. Neither had really thought about what the fallout of Peyton's terrible luck would be. All the school she had missed, all the tests she'd never gotten to make up. But she'd never said anything, never even mentioned that she might be in any trouble to either of them.

"Bite me Brooke, I don't need your pitty looks"

"Peyton"

"Yours either" Peyton muttered, getting up from the table. She couldn't take it anymore. She'd tried to stay calm and ignore both of them but it just wasn't possible anymore. Hell, they weren't even doing anything wrong on purpose and she still couldn't take it.

"Peyton wait, Brooke"

"Go" Brooke sighed; giving Lucas a sad smile saying it was ok to go after her. She watched as Lucas ran after Peyton and closed her eyes. For a few minutes there, things had seemed ok. He was Lucas again, her Lucas, the one she'd fallen in love with time and time again. But as always, those minutes passed, things returned to normal and reality struck. He wasn't her Lucas anymore. He was Peyton's. It was Peyton he was chasing after this time, not her. And as much as it stung, Brooke tried to tell herself that that was how it was supposed to be maybe. He had clearly moved on, now it was her turn.

As Lucas followed Peyton down the hallway towards the stairs, he started to wonder why. Why was he even bothering? She wasn't going to listen. She was just going to scream at him, tell him it was all his fault and wait for him to say he was sorry. It was what always happened with them lately. Everything he did was wrong, no matter how hard he tried to make it right. Relationships weren't supposed to be this hard. Sure they were supposed to be a little hard, hard enough that you knew you wanted to fight for them. But at this point, he wasn't sure he wanted to fight for Peyton anymore. Things were hard all the time, and there were never any truly good moments with her. Maybe they were both just too full of baggage for a real relationship. That's when something occurred to him he'd never thought about before. He had to try with Peyton. She was the reason he'd lost Brooke in the first place. There was something about her that just kept drawing him back and because of that, he'd lost his Brooke. So whatever they were fighting about, they had to work through it, because if she'd been important enough to lose Brooke over, then she had to be important enough for him to fight for.

When he finally caught up with her, they were a good 10 feet from the stairway. One would think that was a good amount of room to argue. So, they did.

"I told you to leave me alone" Peyton yelled, stomping her foot and glaring at him. Lucas wasn't going to lie to himself, he was a little scared to move forward.

"I cant"

"Why?"

"You're my girlfriend" Lucas said, as slowly and clear as possible so that she would calm down a little. Unfortunately, it didn't have his desired effect.

"Wow, you remembered this time"

"I don't understand what the big deal is! So what if you're in Tree Hill and I'm in Chapel Hill. Its 2 hours! We'll make it work"

"The big deal? Lucas! Do you realize you've never even asked me where I applied? Never once said "Well hey Peyton, college starts in 5 months, we should think about that" Never once!" Peyton screamed, madder and redder than ever. But it wasn't a hurt kind of mad. Not the kind of mad Brooke would get when she was jealous of him and Peyton. It was almost like a relieved mad if that was even possible. Like she _wanted_ to fight.

"It never came up"

"But you planned it with Brooke. The whole thing. Hell, you probably filled out her applications for her and wrote her essays"

"Peyton"

"No! I-"

And then there was a scream.

Lucas had never seen anything like it. Its one of those things that you watch on TV and say "Oh, well if that ever happened I'd be able to stop it". But as Lucas learned at that particular moment, when someone falls down the stairs, you don't stop it. You stand there, in completely awe of the event. So stunned that the person is 2/3 the way down the stairs before you realize what's happened. It wasn't until Brooke came running down the hall that Lucas snapped out of his trance and started to realize what had just happened.

"Oh my god. Peyton!"

Brooke and Lucas both rushed down the steps to check on her. She seemed ok, she was breathing, looking up at them. They really knew she was ok when she started to finish her sentence that she had been yelling at Lucas before she'd fallen. It wasn't until they tried to stand her up that they realized something was wrong.

"My foot" Peyton cried as she tried to get herself up.

"It looks pretty twisted"

"Don't touch it"

"Here, you take one side, I'll take the other. The medic has a booth at the entrance"

Brooke and Lucas made their way to the lobby and towards the entrance until they finally reached where the ski medic sat with all of his supplies. Then, it was a waiting game. The Medic took Peyton across the road to his office and told Brooke and Lucas to wait there while he got some x-rays and figured out exactly what she had done to her leg, and what the extent of the injury was. So that's what they did. They waited, and waited and waited, in complete silence, the guilt having hit both of them.

It wasn't until Lucas let out a deep sigh that Brooke finally decided to break the awkward silence. She wasn't sure what would come once she did. Maybe he'd be mad at her, maybe he just wouldn't talk, either way. She couldn't stand the quiet anymore.

"Poor Peyton" Brooke sighed wondering why things like this always happened to her. Her guess was Karma but she wasn't about to say it out loud.

"She has the worst luck"

"It could have been a lot worse"

"I shouldn't have even brought Carolina up" Lucas said wiping his eyes with his hands. What had be been thinking?

"Its not your fault"

"No, I mean I try to make things good. I try to make her laugh and make her happy, but it always backfires. She's so frustrated with everything and everyone. I just don't know what to do anymore. She doesn't talk to me"

"It stings" Brooke said, giving Lucas a sad smile. She knew he had no idea what she was talking about. But she knew exactly what he was feeling. What it was like to try so hard with someone, and not have them try back.

"What?"

"Not being able to make the person you love happy. Its like you try and you try and you tell yourself they're just having a bad day, or they've been through a lot they just need time but at the end of the day, it still hurts and you either start to blame them, or yourself"

"Which did I make you do?" Lucas finally asked after a long pause. He could tell by the sincere look on her face she wasn't meaning any of this to hurt him, and that she was trying to help. But it was making him feel terrible. He'd never imagined he'd caused her this much stress and pain. What he didn't tell her was that it stung just as bad to know that he'd hurt her.

"Both. First I blamed myself. It seemed like Peyton made you happy and I didn't. Then that pissed me off so I blamed you. Just a little hint, blaming the other person feels really good"

"I'm sorry"

"It doesn't matter, its done" Brooke said, giving him a better smile this time, a more comforting one. Yesterday she would have milked this for all it was worth. She would have made him feel the pain that she had, but something in his eyes told her he was already feeling it, so she decided to leave it alone.

"Its weird. I loved you for so long Brooke Davis, and I would have done _anything_ to make you love me back. Then in the end when I finally had you, I'm the one who forced you away and made you stop loving me"

"I never said I stopped loving you Lucas, but at some point you just get tired of fighting. Why fight for something you know you'll never completely have? I loved you Lucas, and no matter what Peyton says, you were _my_ boy. But at the end of the day, what really mattered was that I wasn't you're girl"

"Looks like she's gonna be just fine" Both Brooke and Lucas took their attention off of each other and focused on the doctor as he wheeled Peyton in in a wheelchair with a big cast on her left leg.

"Wow, a black cast"

"Just no skiing for 6-8 weeks"

"That sucks" Lucas said, but actually felt a little relieved. That meant he probably didn't have to ski either.

"You're telling me"

"Yea" Lucas agreed, but he was only ½ listening. His mind was still focused on Brooke and everything she had just told him.

"We can watch VH1"

"Sure"

"It's getting late. I'm gonna go see if Rachel and Haley are back yet. Sorry about your leg P. Sawyer" Brooke said, giving Peyton a sad smile and then Lucas the same.

"Me too"

"Bye"

"I'll be right back… Brooke" Lucas called after her as she made her way towards the staircase. She knew better than to turn around and face the awkward moment that was getting ready to happen, but she did it anyway.

"Yea"

"Thanks for waiting with me"

"It was kind of my fault to start with" Brooke ½ laughed. She had been the one to agree to the not so smart breakfast idea after all.

"It wasn't, but I appreciate it"

"Anytime. That's what friends do, right?"

"Right… and hey Brooke" Lucas said, waiting for her to turn back around and face him.

"Yea?"

"Just so you know, you were always _my _girl"


	4. Chapter 4

Day 2 

Brooke laid awake in bed, hundreds of things racing through her head. She turned over to see that it was only showing 1AM. It seemed like she'd been lying there for so much longer. Rachel was in the bed beside her snoring. Brooke had a theory that whatever nose job she'd had done had screwed some things up. After imagining what Rachel had looked like being fat with a bad nose for a few minutes, then imagining what Peyton would look like fat with a big nose, her thoughts again moved to Lucas. He'd been on her mind all night. Well, not so much him as what he'd said to her earlier. _"Just so you know, you were always my girl". _ What could he have meant by that? Did he mean she _was_ always his girl, but wasn't anymore? Did he mean he still loved her and she'd always be his? Why did boys have to be so confusing? What she really needed now was a letter. One of _his _letters. The beautifully written ones full quotes and hope and everything a girl wanted to here. She loved his letters more than anything and missed them. The way he always started off by calling her "Pretty Girl" and then added some profound quote. She tried to imagine what a love letter from him right now would say, a perfect love letter.

_Pretty Girl,_

_"Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image... otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."_

_This is why I love you and not Peyton. Because if I loved Peyton it would be like loving me, since she's the exact same as me. She never argues which is boring. I even stole her hair color/style. I love you because you disagree with me and you aren't boring and we have hott sex._

Ok. So a letter from Lucas would _never_ actually sound quite like that, but it was what she wanted to hear. Why was this so hard for her? Why couldn't she just accept the fact that they were finished and she had to move on? That's when the denial set in. The more she thought about it, the easier it was just to blame him. It was his fault she couldn't move on. He was the one who kept telling her these profound sentences that could have 100 different meanings. He was definitely going to make a good writer one day. The rich kind who wrote those 1000 pages novels that no one ever truly understands. This was when things got really bad. Bring the words "rich" and "Lucas" into a sentence and she was already picturing herself as his wife in their big house with all their cars, and maybe a kid or two. They could totally be a super couple like Brad and Jen, only minus the Angelina (Aka Peyton). Ok, so maybe that wasn't the best example, but hey. She liked to think that as Lucas aged he'd look more and more like Brad Pitt. Now she was rambling. Her mind was completely racing and she was starting to get a headache.

The next thing she knew, she was downstairs, sitting on the porch watching the snowfall. She'd never really been one for snow, but tonight it seemed pretty. The way it covered up all the ugly and made everything seem pretty and new again. Sure, it'd just melt away and reveal all the ugly dead grass, but for now, even for just a little while, it seemed perfect.

She knew she was pathetic when even snow was reminding her of her and Lucas' relationship. They hadn't even ever had sex in the snow, and yet here she was analyzing it all. Why couldn't she just be a fat slut like Rachel? Or a stupid prude like Haley? They were both happy. They both had semi healthy relationships. (And yes, she had considered Cooper and Rachel a healthy relationship, I mean after all. He was Hot Uncle Cooper)

It was just then, she knew she was going crazy. She could have sworn she saw Lucas lying out in the snow at the side of the hotel. First thing on her list when she got back to Tree Hill, find a therapist. She didn't exactly have on the best pajamas for the snow, but she decided that her Uggs and coat would suffice long enough for her to walk out and see if she was really going crazy, luckily, she wasn't.

"Wow, and I thought I had issues" Brooke sighed, standing over Lucas, blocking the snow from hitting him.

"You've never done this?"

"Laid in ice?"

"Watched the snow fall" Lucas laughed patting the snow beside him. He'd come out there so that he could be alone and think, but it might be nice to have someone out there with him. Especially if that someone was Brooke.

"Not from the ground, aren't you freezing?"

"Its not bad when you don't think about it"

"How's Peyton?" Brooke finally asked, caving to the peer pressure and lying down in the snow next to him. She tried to act normal, but in reality her whole body was tingling. It was so weird to be lying so close to Lucas like that again.

"Sleeping. What are you doing up anyway?"

"Couldn't sleep"

"Me either. Its nice just to come out here in the quiet and think" Lucas smiled, turning his head in the snow to face her.

"About what?"

"I don't know. College next year, my mom and the baby, Peyton, you, whatever comes to mind"

"Me? I better be dressed in these thoughts" Brooke giggled a little, wiping some snow from her eyelids.

"You are… Sometimes"

"Lucas!"

"I'm kidding. I used to lay out on my porch like this though when I'd write your letters" Lucas said, changing the subject a little. He didn't want things to get awkward, not like they had earlier today. He liked having her out there with him. She made the mood so light and easy.

"Really? I'd write mine in the bath tub"

"Don't tell me that"

"Was it hard? Just to suddenly stop writing them?" Brooke asked. She'd been wondering it for a while. When she had stopped writing his letters it had almost killed her. She'd agonized over it for days before she finally decided it was stupid to keep writing love letters she was never going to send.

"Who says I stopped?"

"Right, Peyton. Sorry"

"Peyton doesn't get letters. I still write yours" Lucas sighed. He hadn't really planned on ever telling her this. In fact, he hadn't told anyone this. It probably wouldn't look too good on his part if he was still writing love letters to Brooke while dating Peyton. Not that they were so much "love letters" anymore, so much as just his thoughts and feelings. Things he used to tell her all the time before everything got so complicated.

"Really? Why?"

"I don't know. I mean I didn't plan on keeping them going, but I was just so used to writing one every week, plus I still had a lot to say to you"

"You could have just told me in person" Brooke was trying hard to get what these letters said out of him. But she knew exactly what he meant. It was the same reason she'd written him letters all last summer and never sent them.

"Says the person who handed he a box of 82 letters full of stuff she didn't say in person"

"Yea"

"I don't know. Some stuff I just needed to get out, whether you read it or not" The awkward moment Lucas had tried so hard to avoid had finally happened. And, as usual it was his fault. He watched her as she lay there for a minute, staring up at the falling snow. Seeing her lie there like that, so quiet and sad looking reminded him why loosing her had hurt so bad. He wondered if maybe it was him, maybe he just wanted what he couldn't have. Maybe it'd be the same way with Peyton if they ever broke up. After all, it seemed like the only time he ever had any interest in her was when he wasn't with her. He tried to think back to the last time his heart had ached for Peyton the way it was for Brooke now. He couldn't remember.

"Yea. Well I better get going. Its after curfew" Brooke finally said, not able to stand the awkward silence much longer. Only two things ever came after awkward silences for them. A fight or sex. And since she didn't want to fight with him anymore, and since sex definitely wasn't happening, she decided she'd be the one to throw in the towel for tonight.

"Right…"

Lucas watched her as she started to walk, and saw her slipping away all over again. They'd finally gotten to a point where they weren't ready to kill the other one, and now he was loosing her, and he wasn't ready for that. So, in a desperate attempt to keep her out there with him, he threw the snowball.

"Ah! Lucas Scott!"

"Accident, I swear"

"Really?" Brooke whined, looking down at her now icy wet pajama sleeve. For a minute she was ready to stomp off mad to her room she was so cold, then she changed her mind. Two could play at this game.

"Of cour-"

"Accident, I swear" 

Neither Brooke or Lucas were sure exactly what time they had started the snowball fight, but there was no question about what time it had ended. They'd spent a good amount of time pounding each other with cold wet snow, hiding behind trees; shoving huge hand fulls down the other ones shirts and in each others hair. It was the first real fun either had had on the whole trip. Brooke wasn't sure they would have ever stopped if it hadn't been for what had happened next.

"Completely un-acceptable!" Whitey yelled, inside the lobby where he and Mr. Chavez had sat Brooke and Lucas down after they had busted them. Both Brooke and Lucas were shivering from their wet clothes, praying the lecture would end before they caught frostbite.

"Do you two realize what kind of damage you could have caused? How many people you could have woken up? It un-acceptable behavior from two high school seniors. Especially from our class president!"

"Sorry"

"The two of you will be punished"

"For having a snowball fight?" Lucas asked, deciding that this punishment was a little too harsh for something as harmless as throwing snow. He'd realized about 1/3 a way through the lecture that it wasn't the fact they had been out after curfew that Chavez had a problem with. It was _who _had been out after curfew. Lucas could see the way that he was eyeing Brooke, basically lecturing her the entire time, not bothering to look at him once. He could also see the fear and embarrassment behind Brooke's eyes. Something that he'd never seen with her before.

"For being out after curfew and waking an entire lodge up!"

"I'm pretty sure you're the one waking everyone up"

"And for back talking!" Chavez yelled, finally acknowledging Lucas' presence.

"You deal with them" Whitey mumbled, giving Brooke and Lucas one last look before making his way towards the stairs.

"Now since the two of you seem to like the snow so much, you'll spend tomorrow on the ski slopes, helping out the Lodge"

"Skiing?" Brooke whined, dreading the thought. This was almost her worst nightmare, especially considering how cold she was at that very moment.

"While picking up trash"

Day 3

Lucas woke up early the next morning to get ready for the day. Chavez had made it very clear that there would be serious consequences if he and Brooke weren't on time to start their punishment, and since Lucas didn't want to spend his entire trip cleaning up other people's trash, he was going to be there.

Since he'd gotten in so late last night, he still hadn't told Peyton what had happened. Really he didn't know what to tell her. Him having a snowball fight with Brooke at 2AM probably wasn't the best way to go. After all it was only one day, and she'd never have to find out the real reason why he was stuck out in the cold. So for now, for her own sake, he'd lie and hope it worked.

After getting dressed, he made his way down to Brooke and Peyton's room to make sure she was up and getting ready. He wasn't going to be stuck out on those slopes all alone, while she stayed warm in bed.

"Luke, what are you doing here?" Peyton yawned opening her eyes just wide enough to see Lucas walking over to her bedside.

"Chavez put me on trash duty today"

"What? What for?"

"Being out after curfew" Lucas said, hoping she wouldn't ask anymore questions. At this point he still wasn't lying, he just wasn't filling her in on all the details, and he really wanted to keep it that way.

"Luke… I thought we were going to spend the day together"

"We will! As soon as I get back"

"Ready?" Brooke interrupted, prancing out of the bathroom in her jet back ski coat, boots, and perfectly finished hair and make up. She looked more like someone who was modeling ski ware, then someone who was actually going to be using it.

"Wow, you're actually up"

"Are you kidding me? Chavez was banging on my door an hour ago making sure I didn't over sleep"

"Wait, so you both have trash duty?" Peyton asked, giving them both a confused look. Lucas could see that he was screwed now. He was going to have to explain everything to Peyton, and then deal with the repercussions later.

"I-uh"

"Yea, I mean you'd think the man would give me a break for just wanting something to drink! Ok, well I might have been trying to flirt with the night desk clerk but still. He's such a hard ass. What'd he get you for Lucas?"

"Oh, um. I was out on the porch reading so I didn't wake Nathan up" Lucas said, stumbling over his words. He just hoped they were enough to keep Peyton at ease.

"Anyway, at least you're not stuck picking up all the trash with Buddha Belly Whitey like I am"

"Right. Yea."

"Ok, well we better get going" Brooke sighed, grabbing her gloves and hat from the night table.

After sending Brooke and Lucas on their way, (not without a lengthy lecture about how they had both better come back with full bags of trash), Nick Chavez spent the next hour wondering what he had interrupted the night before. Ever since Brooke had broken up with him, he'd tried to keep a close eye on her. Watching who she was dating, interacting with, ect ect; and from what he could tell she was pretty anti boy, especially anti Lucas Scott. He wasn't sure of her entire high school history with boys, but he had noticed the awkwardness between Brooke and Lucas and wondered for a good time now what the real story was. He'd tried to find out through Brooke's friends, but since Rachel knew about their past, and Peyton and Brooke didn't seem to be speaking. He'd been kind of screwed in that department. Now it was time for plan B. Something he hadn't thought of before.

"Ms. Scott" Nick smiled, stopping Haley in the hallway on her way down to breakfast. Nick knew that Haley and Lucas were good friends from one of the papers Haley had written in his class and so he guessed she was the one to go to for information.

"Hey, Mr. Chavez"

"How are you today?"

"A little sore from skiing" Haley laughed as she tried to make it down the stairway, in the least awkward looking way as possible.

"I bet. It looks like you've been having a good time though, getting your mind off things

"Yea"

"So, can I ask you question?" Nick asked, deciding to jump right to the point.

"Um, sure?"

"Its just about Lucas"

"Yea" Haley agreed. She wasn't sure what it could be about but since Mr. Chavez did teach their writing and literature classes she thought it might be something about Lucas' writing.

"How long have you known him?"

"Since we were like 6, why?"

"Well, I've just been hearing some rumors about him and some female students and I just wanted to get some information from someone who knows the real him" Nick said, as calmly and nonchalant as possible to avoid any sort of suspicion.

"Yea, sure"

"He's dating Ms. Sawyer right?"

"Yea, for about a month now" Haley said, wondering what Lucas had done now. Ever since he had entered the world of girls he'd had a rough. Haley was pretty sure anything Mr. Chavez was going to bring up wasn't going to surprise her.

"And before that?"

"He was with Brooke"

"Davis?" Nick asked, making sure to clarify, since Brooke was a pretty common name in the high school.

"Yea, they had this whole drawn out pining for each other thing going on"

"About how long were they together?"

"Um, They dated for about 6 months but if you count the pining they did for each other it was over a year" Haley said, guessing she'd figured it up about right.

"And what happened?"

"Things got bad when Keith died and Lucas was having some problems. I think Brooke got scared she was going to get her heart broken again. What were the rumors?"

"We found Brooke and Lucas out past curfew last night and well, I just wanted to check and make sure they weren't doing anything they shouldn't have been" Nick said, deciding to be truthful about it, just incase Haley were to bring any of it up to Lucas or even another teacher.

"I wouldn't worry. Neither of them would go down that road. They were probably just talking or something"

"Thanks so much for your help Haley"

Brooke and Lucas spent what seemed like a lifetime cleaning up trash left on the ski slopes. But what Brooke had imagined a possibly fun day with Lucas, really hadn't been. He was really quiet, smiling occasionally as the she tried to start meaningless small talk about shoes and hair. She just wasn't sure where she was going wrong. This wasn't her usual Lucas, the Lucas who liked to argue with her about how pointless spending $100 on shoes was, or how the Spice Girls were never actually having a reunion tour. It was killing her not to have him give her his usual flirty smile.

Meanwhile Lucas had a lot on his mind. Stupid things really, but it was still bothering him how Brooke had covered for him like that this morning. It was just so, not Brooke. Usually she was saying anything to piss Peyton off or make her jealous just to get a rise out of her, and this morning had been the perfect opportunity, and yet she hadn't taken it. What did this mean? Was she finally moving on, and ok with him and Peyton?

"I never thanked you for lying to Peyton this morning" He finally said, deciding to see what she had to say about the matter. Maybe it would help give him some perspective on things.

"Lying? Who said I was lying? Maybe I was down there to flirt with the hot night clerk"

"You know what I mean"

"Hey, if I can help you two avoid a fight, then so be it. Ugh, it's freezing out here" Brooke shivered. She actually wasn't that cold, but the whole subject of Lucas and Peyton wasn't high on her list of things to talk about right now. The way she saw it, she'd done a nice thing this morning for Lucas. It had almost killed her not to rub it into Peyton's face about how she was getting ready to spend the day with Lucas, but after everything that had happened. She had just wanted to enjoy the day with Lucas, without him worrying what Peyton was thinking. Clearly her plan was backfiring.

"So, I didn't mean to make things weird last night with the letters"

"You didn't…ok maybe a little but I mean I get it Luke. I just don't want things to be weird for us. It was really hard when we were fighting and I know it was my fault, but I like us being friends now. As sad as it sounds, you and Rachel are basically all I have"

"Hey, its not your fault ok? You did what you had to do before things got bad. It hurt but it gets better every day. I like us being friends now too and I wouldn't trade it for anything" Lucas smiled. By now they had both stopped their trash round up and were facing each other, Lucas's hands on Brooke's shoulders. He needed her to know that he still cared. That their friendship was more important to him than anything. If the truth was known, probably more important than his whole relationship with Peyton.

"Me either"

"And I'm always here for you Brooke. I can kick some serious ass if I need too"

"Sure" Brooke giggled, imagining Lucas trying to kick someone's ass.

"I can"

"Like you did Felix?"

"He was hurting" Lucas laughed, basically giving up on being serious with this subject matter. It was just good to see Brooke laugh again.

"He was laughing"

"In pain…"

"Sure. But hey, I'm here for you too Luke" Brooke smiled, changing to a more serious tone. They both just stood there for a minute after that, lying to themselves and each other. Both in a deep denial about their friendship. They'd tried to be "friends" before. _Tried_ being the keyword, but there were just some people in the word that are meant to be more than _just_ friends. They could try, but end the end, Brooke Davis and Lucas Scott were meant to be All or Nothing. There was no in-between for people like Brooke and Lucas.

By the end of the day, Brooke's legs were so sore; Lucas had had to practically carry her up the steps to her room. All she could think about doing was crawling into her nice warm bed and sleeping. For the most part it had been a good day, the 2nd half much better than the first. It had almost been like old times with Lucas there for a while. It had been the kind of day that fooled you into thinking things were a lot different than they really were, but only for a little while.

Once they were back to the room, and Brooke saw Lucas kiss Peyton's cheek and help her out of bed to dinner, her fantasy was over. It was like breaking up with Lucas over and over again every time she was with him. Like some kind of evil reminder that it was her fault she wasn't with him anymore, and now she was paying for it.

She sat down on her bed too tired to even think, only to find a light blue envelope on her pillow with her name on it. It took her a minute to realize it was Lucas' handwriting, and then another few minutes to finally work up the courage to open it.

Pretty Girl,

Someone once asked me _"How many moments in life can you point too and say, that's when it all changed?" _

I can point to a lot of moments that changed my life over the past few years. Some good, like the second I hit the winning shot at play-offs. Some bad, like the moment I found out Keith had died. But none make me smile quite like I did, the moment I realized I was in love with you. It was a Friday night, somewhere around 11 on a beach in Tree Hill. I'd come back from Charleston to make things right with you and Peyton, to try and be friends with both of you. Then, as I made my way up to where you both were playing by the fire, there you were. That was the exact moment I knew I was in love with you, and I always would be.

"Love is not love which alters, when it alteration finds"

People seem to think that to be in love, you have to be "with" someone, that things like kissing and sex are what make "love". But even though we aren't "together", the way I feel about you hasn't changed, and probably never will. You were my first love, the first girl that I was ever proud to call mine, and I guess in a way I'll always see you as my Brooke. I'll always be jealous of the guys your with, and I'll always wonder what could have been. But the fact that we have found a way to be friends, even after everything we have been through together, after everything we have felt for each other, is proof in itself that, selfless true love does exist. No matter who I'm with, or where I'll go. You'll always be my pretty girl.

"What lies behind us, and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us".

by Ralph Waldo Emerson

-Lucas


	5. Chapter 5

Hey guys... sorry for the long wait. I swear hates me. I've been trying to upload this chapter for like 4 days now and everytime I would send it I would get an error message. Anyway, I think you guys are going to REALLY like this chapter, at least I hope so. I'll go ahead and tell you I just ended this story at Chapter 11. I know it was supposed to be a LOT longer... but theres only so much you can have happen on a weeks vacation (Which I've learned the hardway with this story). But the happy news is I've started a new one (As usual haha) and I'll let you guys know more about it as I get farther. Enjoy this chapter and please review:)

**Day 3 (night)**

Brooke sat in bed, re-reading the letter over and over until she almost had the entire sheet of paper memorized. Now was the hard part. Did she write him back? She knew she'd never be able to write anything to him like he had to her. His was so heart felt and sweet. Meanwhile all she could think of was _"Dump Peyton, even though I'm not even sure I want to be with you"._ Why did everything always have to be so complicated with them? She knew she was selfish, but she couldn't help how she felt. Maybe things would be different if Lucas were dating anyone but Peyton. Maybe she'd feel different and be supportive. Ok, that was a lie. One thing she'd have to work on when she found a therapist… lying to herself. Of course it wouldn't be any different if he were with someone else. It was just like he had said in the letter, how he was going to hate anyone she was with. It was the same with her. How were they ever supposed to get on with their lives if they were two busy worrying who the other one was with? Maybe it would all get better once they were in college and didn't have to see each other so much.

Just as Brooke was re-reading the letter again, she heard a knock on the door. Her heart jumped as she shoved the letter and its envelope under her pillow just in time for the door to open. Bevin and Rachel were standing in the doorway, both in their bikini's and flip flops staring back at Brooke.

"So, are you coming?" Rachel asked, looking at her wrist like she had a watch on. Things were getting way too boring out by the hot tub and Rachel knew Brooke would spice things up, whether she wanted too or not.

"Coming where?"

"The hot tub? Everyone's out there"

"Everyone?" Brooke asked, seriously doubting that _everyone_ was out there. Haley hated anything that involved other people lately, Peyton couldn't get her cast wet, Mouth was too self conscious to take off his shirt, Skills still claimed he couldn't swim, and Lucas only liked hot tubs when there was sex involved.

"Everyone. Nathan, Haley. Mouth, Skills, Lucas and Peyton"

"Great, has someone pushed Peyton in yet?"

"No, she's sitting on the side with her leg propped up, come on… I don't think Mouth's ever been this drunk! When I left he was trying to undo Haley's bottom" Rachel whined giving Brooke a sad look. Brooke didn't by the look but she guessed it could be fun. If anything she could at least accidentally knock Peyton into the water if things got too dull.

"Rachel…"

"Please! I'm pretty sure Nathan was trying to help Mouth too and if you don't get out there I'm gonna have to see Haley naked! Now get your fat ass dressed. I need someone out there to make me look skinny"

"Really? I'm pretty sure that's what Rosie O'Donnell said about you when she invited you to her pool party"

"See you in 10?"

Down by the hot tub Mouth was still trying to undo Haley's bottom by the time Brooke got down there. Everyone, minus Peyton was in the hot tub laughing and splashing. It looked like Rachel was right and it could be half way fun, at least until Brooke saw where the only seat in the hot tub was open. Right between Rachel and Lucas. Normally, this would have excited Brooke. Any chance she got to prance around in a bikini in front of Lucas and Peyton, just to prove she had much better curves and bigger boobs was fabulous. But today she felt self-conscious and she was stuck. She either left or looked stupid for coming out and not even getting in, or she just bit her lip and did it. How bad could it really be? It was just Lucas, the guy had seen her naked more times than she could count and here she was nervous to sit beside him? This definitely wasn't the usual Brooke Davis mind set.

So after a few minutes of pretending to put her hair up so it wouldn't get wet, and talking to Peyton about whatever weirdness she was drawing, Brooke took a deep breath, and got in. She slid as close to Rachel as possible without looking too obvious or like a lesbian. Luckily Lucas didn't seem to notice. In fact, he'd barely said 3 words to her since she'd gotten out there. This was weird, he hadn't even so much as shot a look at her cleavage, even when she'd purposely crossed her arms to make it look even bigger. This definitely wasn't the boob obsessed Lucas Scott she knew. Dating Peyton, the guy probably hadn't seen any good boobs in months; it had to be killing him.

Part of Lucas had hoped Brooke wouldn't come down to the Jacuzzi. It was just so much easier to laugh and be normal when he didn't have her sitting right beside him. He tried not to look at her too much, and stay involved in the conversation he was having with Nathan and Mouth about nipple piercings, but it was just so hard. Way to many memories came back when he saw her in _that_ bikini. She had to be trying to torture him. She'd worn that same bikini every time they'd gone to the beach or the pool or in a Jacuzzi while they were dating, and it had never stayed on every long. He tried to change his mind set to Peyton, his girlfriend. What did she look like in a swim suite? He knew he had seen her in one but he couldn't for the life of him remember when or what she'd looked like in it. After finally deciding that wasn't working, he decided to fully emerge himself into the conversation. Nipple rings. _Should he get one? Would it hurt? What kind would he get? Would his mom kill him? Would Brooke like it? _There he went again. He hadn't even meant to think about her and he had. He looked over for a split second to see that she was turned, having what looked like a serious conversation with Rachel. It made him wonder if she'd gotten the letter. He was starting to think that maybe he shouldn't have even sent it. Everything in it was true, but maybe the truth was just too much for both of them.

"Ok, this is getting lame. I think its time for something fun" Rachel said, interrupting everyone's separate conversations. While sitting in the hot tub taking to Brooke and Bevin was fun, it wasn't nearly as fun as what she had planned.

"Like?"

"Truth or dare"

"Woah… no. It always ends badly" Peyton laughed remembering their various Truth or Dare games over the years. It never ended well.

"That's half the fun"

"Rachel"

"Don't make me dare someone to push you in" Rachel said eyeing Peyton. She'd heard stories from Brooke about their previous games and sure, it did always seem like Peyton got screwed but that was half the fun, at least it would be for Brooke and that's what she really needed was fun. Something to bring her back to the Brooke she'd met when she'd moved to Tree Hill, only they'd be friends this time.

"I'm in"

"Thanks Bevin"

"I guess I is to then" Skills agreed.

"Great. Me, Bevin, Skills, Mouth?"

"Whoot"

"Nathan?" Rachel asked, hoping he was at least buzzed enough to want to play. As long as she had Nathan, Haley would be in too, followed by the rest.

"I guess it could be fun. Hales?"

"Fine, me too I guess"

"Great! Brooke, Lucas, Peyton?" Rachel asked getting excited. Of course they were going to say yes now that everyone else was playing.

"Sure" All three agreed in unison

"Ok, we'll start left of me. Brooke, you're first"

"Really? Ok, Skills. Truth or dare?" Brooke smiled, already knowing what dare she was going to give him.

"Dare baby, I don't back down from nothin"

"Ok, I dare you to kiss Mouth, on the lips, open mouth but no tongue"

"What? This shit is sick… damn he's drunk" Skills cringed, obviously dreading the kiss.

"Kiss kiss kiss kiss… ewwww!" Everyone gagged and laughed as Skills leaned in and kissed an extremely drunk Mouth.

"Shit, you going down Brooke Davis. Now Mouth truth or dare?"

"Dare"

"Alright dawg, you're drunk. I dare you to roll around in dat snow… naked" Skills laughed and everyone else followed.

"Hell yea"

"Ewww, skills"

"What? He's so drunk he wont feel a thing" Skills laughed as Mouth climbed out of the tub and made his way towards the snow… then down went the swim suite.

"Whooo hooo!"

"See?"

"Ah Mouth man, put your pants back on" Lucas yelled, having seen enough of his friend naked.

"I dare Haley" Mouth said when he finally got back after having fallen twice in the snow, and once in the doorway back to the Jacuzzi.

"Actually I'd rather have a truth"

"Oook. After the sex tape, did you ever think about leaving Nathan an-?"

"Yeah" Haley said without letting Mouth finish.

"and getting with me?"

"What?"

"Haley!" Nathan yelled, in a way no one there at that moment had ever heard him yell before. It wasn't loud, but it was definitely a yell, and it wasn't mean… just more hurt.

"I did, for a while there I wasn't sure I wanted you in my life anymore. It wasn't for long, but I was so hurt"

"I can't believe…"

"Ok I dare Bevin, Bevin what are you doing?" Haley asked. She'd decided to dare Bevin so that her conversation with Nathan could wait until later, but Bevin had decided to take matters into her own hands.

"Woah, baby"

"You said me. I want my dare to be to flash my baby"

"It doesn't really work like that but, sure. I didn't have one anyway" Haley laughed shaking her head at Bevin, while at the same time trying not to look.

"Ok my turn! Peyton, I dare you to kiss… Nathan! Since I wasn't invited to the wedding and I missed the kiss"

"Bevin, we aren't married, but for dares sake… Lucas?"

"Its just a dare" Lucas shrugged. He wasn't going to be the one who whined about someone's dare. If Skills and Mouth kissed with no problem, then he didn't see why Peyton and Nathan couldn't.

"Pucker up Nate"

"Awww"

"Ok, Nathan. Truth or dare" Peyton smiled after this kiss was finished and the "awing" had seized.

"Truth, since my wife likes it so much"

"Ok, did you ever consider sleeping with Rachel?"

"I, not at first, well at least not when she was asking" Nathan started. He wasn't really sure how far he wanted to go with this, but he also figured what the hell. Haley hadn't cared about his feelings; she hadn't cared about anyone's feelings since she lost the baby.

"Then when?"

"I don't know, I mean when she helped me with the whole baby thing, she was so nice about it and I don't know. I might have then"

"Just let me know and I'll bring the video camera" Rachel giggled winking at Nathan, mostly just to piss Haley off.

"I can't believe you Nathan!"

"I can't believe you! Whatever, Rachel, I dare you to kiss Peyton. Its my girl on girl fantasy"

"Why am I stuck kissing everyone?" Peyton whined rolling her eyes at Nathan. But she wasn't gonna argue.

"Ewww!"

"Well that was fun. Ok my turn. Lucas" Rachel smiled raising her perfectly plucked eyebrows at Lucas. This was what she'd been waiting for all night, and luckily she had first go at it.

"Why me?"

"Because you haven't gone yet. Ok. Lucas truth or dare?"

"Dare" Lucas sighed. He was a little scared of both but he figured dare might be a little less harmful than truth… he was wrong.

"Great. Lucas, I dare you for 15 seconds, open mouth, French of course, to kiss… lets see. Brooke"

"What?" Peyton gasped, almost falling out of her chair in utter shock. She knew Rachel could get pretty low, but she'd never imagined she'd go this low.

"You heard me. What's the big deal? You kissed Nathan?"

"I- uh"

"Ok you two lets go. I'll keep count" Rachel said, watching how uncomfortable Brooke and Lucas were both looking. She knew what she was doing was mean, but they'd thank her one day and hopefully name the first born after her… and possibly the 9th if they kept going that long.

Lucas took a deep breath, and finally looked Brooke in the eyes. This didn't have to be a big deal; they'd kissed hundreds of times, although he had to admit, in those hundreds of times, there had been very few where he'd felt this numb and shaky. He could tell by the look on her face she was dreading this as much as he was. But it was just a dare. Nathan and Peyton had kissed without problem and it he hadn't cared, so what was the big deal? If they didn't kiss, things were going to be weirder than if they did, they couldn't make this look like it was a bigger deal than it really was. So, after another deep breath, Lucas cupped his hand around Brooke's face and leaned in until their lips met and he could feel her bottom lip tremble.

Brooke's lips had trembled for the first few seconds, but once she'd had the full effect of the kiss they'd stopped somewhere around 4. Around 6 her hand had joined his on her face, and by 9 she'd almost forgotten it was just a dare. Kissing him felt as natural to her as breathing. His hand was so soft on her cheek and the way his lips felt when they touched hers was perfect. But sadly, nothing's ever perfect for long.

15 seconds came… and went, surprisingly to them (and only them) it wasn't bad. He kissed her slowly, and she kissed back, both having forgotten how good it felt. By the time that the 15 seconds were up, both had gotten so caught up in the passionate kiss, that neither knew, nor cared that they were going far over the allotted dare time.

"22…23…24…" Rachel counting, laughing a little more every time she reached a new second.

"Lucas!"

"What's going on here?"

It wasn't until they both heard Peyton's shriek and Mr. Chavez's that they both pulled away, completely unaware they had been kissing for 10 seconds longer than they were supposed too. Not that 25 seconds was that long of a kiss for Brooke and Lucas, even with Rachel's super slow seconds. But for the people watching, especially Peyton and Nick, it had been the longest 25 seconds, in a really long time.

"Do you all realize what time it is?" Nick asked, looking down at his watch and then glaring at all of them.

"You can't really wear a watch in a hot tub"

"Its after 11! I should send all of you to Whitey"

"Oh yay, then we can all clean up the slopes" Brooke muttered low enough so he couldn't hear her.

"But I wont, if you all head straight to bed and we will have a meeting about this, all of you in the morning, now go… just a second Miss Davis"

Brooke paused and waited for everyone else to leave the room. The thought of being in the room alone with him made her nervous. It had been different before when they were on equal ground. But now, he scared her. He could get her in trouble for basically anything, and no one would even believe her if she told them it wasn't true.

"This is the second time in two days I've had an issue with you Brooke" Nick whispered, looking her straight in the eye as he talked. He sounded so teacherish that Brooke hoped for a second that maybe them being out late was all this little meeting was about.

"We weren't doing anything wrong"

"You're out after curfew making out in a hot tub"

"So was Lucas" Brooke said, wishing more than anything that he'd kept Lucas after too. But, she wasn't stupid. He hadn't been sleeping with Lucas and Lucas hadn't broken up with him.

"Isn't Mr. Scott dating Miss Sawyer?"

"It was just a dare"

"That's not what it looked like. We both know your history with guys" Nick said, raising his eyebrows at her. Brooke took a deep breath and tried to think of a smart come back. She wasn't going to let herseld fall apart. Not in front of him. She refused to give him the satisfaction.

"Yea, I date Jack ass'. What's your point?"

"Watch yourself, remember that I can get you into a whole lot more trouble than you can me. Just remember that. You're a pretty girl, but remember that every teacher knows your reputation. Don't think they wont take my word over yours"

"I should go" Brooke whispered, realizing she was getting in over her head. Everything he said was true and all he'd have to do was start a few rumors around the teachers about her cheating or something and she'd be stuck a senior again next year.

"But it doesn't have to be like this" Nick said, grabbing her by the wrist before she could get away.

"Mr. Chavez, is there a problem?"

"No Coach, just found a few kids out after curfew again. Will this happen again Miss Davis?"

"No" Brooke whispered, her heart pounding hard against her chest.

"Alright, back to your room" Nick said in what Brooke thought of as his teacher voice, and then Brooke slowly made her way out trying as hard as she could to avoid eye contact with Whitey so he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes.

Lucas had sent Peyton up with Haley and Nathan, and was waiting outside the doorway when Brooke came through. He could tell by the look on her face she'd been crying, or was about too. As far as he knew, him and Rachel were the only ones that knew about Brooke and Mr. Chavez's history, and he just didn't want to see her get stuck in over her head.

"You ok?" Lucas asked following her down the hallway since she hadn't bothered to stop for him.

"Fine"

"You don't look fine"

"Well I am. Where's everyone else?" Brooke asked, realizing afterward that it was a stupid question.

"They went up to bed"

"Right. So, did Peyton slap you on her way up?"

"No" Lucas laughed, a little confused until he realized what she was talking about.

"She should have, both of us"

"Brooke"

"You know, you're letter made me feel so good about us. All that BS about selfless love and how we can get through anything blah blah blah… I actually believed it" Brooke muttered rolling her eyes as she walked.

"I do believe it"

"Remind me to give you the name of my therapist when I find one. I think you need to work on some of the same stuff I do"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Lucas asked, completely confused by the way she was acting. He thought he'd done good with the letter. He'd meant every word of it, and here she was yelling at him? Then again, it wasn't like it was the first time this had happened.

"Are you kidding me? This is what's wrong with me" Brooke yelled, stopping in her tracks just long enough to pull him down towards her until their lips met for the second time in a half hour. Only this kiss was harder, and much more passionate than the last kiss in front of everyone would allow. She needed him to feel what she felt, the chills up her spine and the butterflies in her stomach. That was the only way he was going to understand any of this. The kiss lasted long enough for him to run his fingers through her wet hair and for her to wrap her arms around his still damp neck, until she finally pulled away, just far enough to put her forehead to his. She'd been the one to make the mistake and break up with him, but she _wasn't_ going to be the one that made the same mistake he and Peyton had when they were together. She knew from the way he was holding her, his arms tight around her waist that he was feeling the same way she was, she knew all she had to do was ask, and they'd be them again, which made it that much harder to do what she was getting ready to do. But she wasn't Peyton and wouldn't be, no matter how much it hurt.

"Brooke"

"And that's why we can't be friends" Brooke finally whispered and let go, making sure he couldn't see the tear slip down her cheek as she walked away.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6! Hope you guys like this chapter! Honestly, my writing isnt keeping up with my updating so its making things a little hard. I think its mostly because we havent had OTH in like 9 weeks and I cant even remember what the show's about lmao. Kidding, but seriously... Writing is getting HARD lol. I'm idealess for my new story. So since you guys are AMAZING reviewers and always help me... I'm gonna give you the chance if you'd like to post as many ideas for my new story as possible (since after all you'll be the ones reading it). So far, all I know is I want it to be 5 years in the future and Brucas haha. Everything else is completely open, so if any of you have any storyline ideas or ANYTHING. Please leave it in your review for this chaper :) I'd really appreciate it!!

Anyways... Thanks for all the reviews! You guys are amazing!!

Day 4

Lucas laid flat on the bed in Brooke and Peyton's room while he waited for Peyton to finish getting ready in the bathroom. Brooke was nowhere to be found. He guessed she'd stayed the night in Rachel's room, but he really didn't know for sure. He hadn't seen her since last night and wasn't looking forward to the meeting this morning. If the truth was known he wasn't looking forward to the entire day. He knew Peyton was going to bring up the dare kiss at some point, it was just a matter of time and he really didn't know what to say. He wasn't sure he knew anything anymore, especially after last night. He did know that he missed Brooke. His Brooke, crazy, emotional, in your face Brooke. Last night had reminded him how much he really missed her. Kissing her and talking to her, everything. He was never going to have that with Peyton, not like he did with Brooke. He guessed it didn't matter how much you _tried_ to love someone, it just didn't work that way. Obviously, it didn't work that way.

Here he was, dating Peyton Sawyer. She was a great girl, pretty, smart, she liked him and liked the same things he did. Why couldn't he just love her? Why couldn't he go numb when he kissed her? Then there was Brooke Davis. She was moody as hell, whiney, expensive, liked completely different things than him, and yet he'd give her the world and all she had to do was ask. He had to give it to her, she'd been right about the whole being friends thing. Here they'd only been trying to do it for 3 days and they'd already kissed twice. There were really only 2 things stopping him from just ending things with Peyton. One, he knew Brooke would never have it that way, not if she were made into the "Peyton" this time. And two, he had no idea what Brooke even wanted. She was after all the one who had broken up with him, which still to this day he didn't know why. If she hadn't wanted to be with him so much, why was she still kissing him in hallways? Girls were so confusing.

In the bathroom Peyton was trying to take as long as possible to get ready. She wasn't ready to face Lucas yet. Not after last night. He was going to want to talk, apologize, explain how all of it was just a dare, that none of it really mattered, and she just wasn't sure she had the patience to listen today. It wasn't so much that Lucas and Brooke had kissed that was bothering her. It was the fact that it wasn't bothering her more than it was. Sure, it had sucked to see them do it, but that was mostly because she was still pissed off at Brooke and hated to see her get her way on anything. Peyton was starting to think that maybe things were just wrong. Did she really love Lucas? Or did she love the fact that she had him and Brooke didn't. She was pretty sure that she'd at least loved him in the beginning, at least she hoped she had considering everything that it had cost her. Months and months of pining for him, losing her best friend because of him. She had to have really loved him at some point. But what about now? She really didn't know. Sure, she liked Lucas. He was a good friend. He was loyal, and nice, and tried to make her happy but it seemed like no matter what he did, it just wasn't how it was supposed to be. None of this was how she pictured it. Maybe that was just how all relationships were. Once you finally get in the relationship that you've wanted forever, its just kind of there and boring. Hell, they hadn't even had sex. Peyton's mind was racing a mile a minute. Did she love Lucas? Was he really worth all the stress that their relationship was causing her?

Brooke and Rachel were the last ones down to the meeting, only slightly beat by Lucas and Peyton. Brooke had told Rachel everything that had happened the night before, and while Rachel thought she was insane for letting him go, she decided to be a good friend and take the seat between Lucas and Brooke. Everyone was silent while Mr. Chavez went on and on about how they knew better than what they did last night, and how one of them could have drown. Blah blah blah, ect ect ect.

An hour later, while Mr. Chavez was still blabbering on and on, the entire group had come to the conclusion that he just liked to hear himself talk. Mouth had long since fallen asleep, completely hung over. Bevin and Skills were in the corner making out, Haley and Nathan were having a not so quiet argument in the other corner, Rachel, being the trader that she was, was passing notes to Peyton about the new Fall Out Boy album over Lucas, which left Brooke, stuck sitting there, actually having to listen to the stupid lecture.

"Now is everyone clear on this? When we get back to school there will be 3 days detention!" Mr. Chavez said sternly. He knew none of the kids were listening, but Whitey was, and anything that happened on this trip he knew Whitey was going to report back to Principal Turner, and he needed to look good.

"Yes" Everyone mumbled, not even really sure what he had said.

"And a paper about this trip, in great detail"

"Ok"

"Now I don't want to see any of you for the rest of the day, _especially_ not tonight. Is that clear Ms. Davis?" Mr. Chavez asked, looking directly at Brooke. She just sighed and nodded. Of course she had to be the one that was singled out.

"Yea"

"Great. Dismissed"

"Well that was harsh" Rachel muttered rolling her eyes at Chavez as they walked past. Brooke had to agree with her, no other teacher would have given them 3 days detention and an essay just for breaking curfew. But that wasn't really what she was concerned with right now.

"Not as harsh as you passing notes to my former skank of a best friend"

"Well did you get me a copy of the new Fall Out Boy?"

"Let me guess, Pete sent it to her?"

"Yea, and I'm sorry but I want it" Rachel whined. She loved Fall Out Boy, and Peyton had gotten her a copy of the new one before it was released, so she was going to be nice to her.

"Sell out"

"Hey, are you forgetting who it was who dared that extremely hot kiss last night? That Peyton had to watch might I add"

"Its not like it matters, they'll probably get into a huge fight and then have make up sex. I miss make up sex" Brooke sighed, remembering the happier days in her life. The days when she'd fight with Lucas just do they could have great make up sex.

"Hey, if I were you I'd be missing sex in general"

"Why am I friends with you again?"

"Because I tell you like it is and PS. You and Lucas are just like that new Fall Out Boy song" Rachel laughed, only listening to Brooke with one ear, while her ear phone blasted music into the other.

"What?"

"Best friends, Ex-friends to the end. Better off as lovers and not other way around"

"Shut up" Brooke whined wanted to plug her ears, and Rachel's mouth.

"Hey, I will if you will. Lets go do something fun"

"Like what?"

"Um, we could steal all Peyton's clean undewear" Rachel laughed trying to think what would be Brooke's idea of "fun" these days.

"What are you in like 5th grade?"

"Nair in the conditioner bottle? We could pass her off as bald Britney's twin, sell her on ebay"

"Are you kidding me?"

"Um, we could call Chases' mom and tell her you're pregnant" Rachel laughed. Brooke got a kicked out of that one. Why did she have such bad luck with guys?

"Ok, that would be pretty funny"

"Or, we could just go find some hot hotel workers"

"There are a lot of those here" Brooke sighed as they passed two extremely fine bell boys.

"Exactly. But you have to swear you wont ruin it all by whining about Lucas"

"Hey, I'm moving on remember"

"Yea, sure" Rachel laughed, rolling her eyes a little while Brooke wasn't looking. She was over Lucas like Mexico was over America. She'd tried arguing with her about it, but it was pointless. At this point Rachel had just given up and decided to just nodd her head in agreement.

"Wait, I've got it"

"What?"

"This could be seriously fun, and its kind of mean" Brooke smiled. Rachel liked this smile. It was the evil Brooke Davis smile Brooke used to use when Rachel had first moved to Tree Hill.

"So?"

"When we were little, at slumber parties Peyton and I used to cut the crotches out of all the other girls underwear, because we know that they'd be too embarrased to tell anyone"

"And you called me a 5th grader?" Rachel sighed, her hopes of something fun sinking along with the sigh.

"She'd know it was me, and I'm not saying we do it to all of them, just like the top two pair"

"You people are so twisted. If we're gonna do this, I'm definitely gonna need some hot chocolate, and by that, I mean dirty hot chocolate"

"I'll get the scissors and meet you in my bathroom in 10 minutes. Peyton looks pretty involved in her drawing" Brooke whispered pointing over to the corner of the lobby where Peyton had found a spot on the couch. She knew the plan was stupid, but it was something to waist the day away, and the thought of Peyton going to put on a pair of crotchless underwear was enough to make her laugh, so it was with it.

Lucas had left Peyton on the couch to draw and was on his way to get her a cup of hot chocolate when Whitey stopped him. Lucas guessed it was going to be another lecture about last night, considering it was the 2nd night in a row he'd gotten caught being out after curfew, and both nights he'd been caught with Brooke.

"Lucas" Whitey smiled, patting Lucas on the back the way he always did when he had something important to talk to him about.

"Hey Coach"

"Why don't we go and grab something to drink"

"Ok?" Lucas asked, a little confused. Whitey didn't seem mad, in fact, he was smiling as they walked towards the hot chocolate stand.

"Are ya having a good time son?"

"Not bad. I mean it sucks that Peyton broke her leg, but its not bad. Look I'm sorry about last night"

"That's not what we're here to talk about. Kids are gonna be kids, Chavez just has a stick up his ass" Whitey mumbled. Lucas tried hard not to laugh, considering Mr. Chavez was still his teacher, and that was the last thing he needed to get in trouble for.

"Yea"

"So you're dating Peyton now?"

"Uh, yea for about a month" Lucas answered, even moer confused now. He'd been getting that question a lot lately. _"So, you're dating Peyton now? Really? What happened to Brooke?"_ and he never really knew quite what to say. _"She broke up with me"_ just sounded so… blah. Like they were this typical high school couple that broke up and it was no big deal.

"I was sorry to hear about you and Brooke"

"Things just didn't work out"

"Sweet girl that one. Before every practice this season, every game she'd come up to me and say _"Coach, take care of my boy". _And I'd always say, _"He's my boy on game nights Ms. Davis." _She'd grin and say _"I guess I can share". _You don't usually see smiles like that on the faces of teenage girls. Keith was standing there with me one night when she did it. She said the usual, and then ran off to find you. Probably so she could shove her tongue down your throat, I don't know what you kids do for fun. Anyway I looked over and Keith and said _"You better keep an eye on that one"_ and you know what he said to me?" Whitey asked, turning to face Lucas a little more. Lucas could tell he was serious about what he was saying by the way the wrinkles on his head were scrunched up.

"What?"

"He said _"I don't think so Whitey._ _They keep an eye on each other"_. Then I mumbled something about her getting pregnant. I know you're with Peyton now, I just, I hate to see a sweet girl like Brooke lose her way because she doesn't have someone like you in her life. She did a lot for you after Keith passed, whether you wanted it or not. I watched as she took your hand at the funeral and you pushed it away, and as took all the abuse and anger you had. Now maybe its your turn to take hers"

"The whole time we were together after Keith died she tried so hard, and I just kept shutting her out. I wouldn't call her just because I knew the sound of her voice was going to make me feel better, and I didn't want that. Not when I'd lost Keith. I wore her out to the point she just couldn't take it anymore. And I just let her go, I didn't even try really try to get her back" Lucas sighed. This was the first time he'd ever admitted this out loud to anyone, and it hurt. He still wondered what would have happened if he'd stopped her that night, if he'd just kissed her and asked her to stay before she walked out his door.

"If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were."

"Kahlil Gibran"

"Camilla used to have a picture hanging on our living room with that quote. She always said the hardest part about loving someone, was the part where you had to let them go. Son, just… keep an eye on her, and keep her the hell away from Mr. Chavez"

Brooke waited patiently in the bathroom for Rachel to come back. The more she thought about what they were doing, the stupider it seemed. She'd almost completely changed her mind, that was until she found the picture in Peyton's suite case of her, Peyton and Lucas, only she was cut out, and Peyton and Lucas were taped together. It was little things like that, that made accepting Lucas and Peyton's relationship that much harder.

"Where's the hot chocolate?" Brooke asked when Rachel finally met her in the bathroom with another pair of scissors and her almost empty Jack Daniels bottle.

"Cooling on the night stand, I can't believe we're doing this. Why don't we put some of her bras in the freezer while we're at it"

"It makes me feel better ok?"

"Fine, which pair?" Rachel asked, carefully picking up some of Peyton's underwear to help Brooke choose.

"The silky ones, she probably likes those"

"Ugh, has she ever heard of Victoria's Secret? Seriously, the Wal-Mart tags are still on here"

"She's not big on underwear that cost $7.50 a pair, ooohh these!" Brooke grinned picking out a pair of black underwear with white skulls and guitars all over them. She had to like those.

"Did you hear that?"

"Hear what?"

"I think someone came in?" Rachel whispered, laying on her stomach to look through the crack between the closed door and the floor.

"Who?"

"I don't know! Shh"

"Its Peyton" Brooke whispered recognizing the sound of her walk with the crutches.

"How do you know?"

"Listen… foot, crutches, foot, crutches"

"She's gonna see the hot chocolate!" Rachel whined, now wishing she'd brought the drink inside the bathroom with her. There was $10 worth of Jack in that bottle.

"You don't think she'll drink it do you?"

"Hope not, as much alcohol as I put in that thing, mixed with her pain medicine. It could throw her for a loop"

"Its not funny" Brooke whispered, trying to quiet Rachel's laughing.

"Oh, but it will be if she drinks it"

"Rachel!"

"So what are we going to do?" Rachel whispered, trying to keep a straight face as she imagined Peyton drunk with a cast.

"We could just walk out, I mean it's my room too"

"And let her see we were both in the bathroom together, no thanks"

"Fine you homophobe. We'll wait until she leaves"

Brooke and Rachel waited, and waited and waited and waited, until they finally heard another pair of footsteps walking into the room. Brooke just prayed it wasn't Lucas meeting Peyton in the room for sex. That was all she needed today. But, no sooner than the thought had passed through her head, she heard Lucas's voice through the door.

"Hey, sorry Whitey caught me"

"Its ook. The hot chocolate was amazing"

Brooke and Rachel both turned towards each other. They couldn't make out much of what the muffled voices were saying, but they did catch hot chocolate, and amazing. Brooke could only imagine what was going to happen next. Lucas with a drunk Peyton? She hoped he had the decency to wait until she was at least sober, but than again… the poor guy probably hadn't had sex since they'd broken up. With the image of Lucas stripping Peyton, Brooke decided she couldn't listen anymore.

Lucas could tell something was off about Peyton from the time he walked into the room and found her lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling giggling. But he couldn't imagine what. At first he had thought maybe the pain meds, but she'd been taking those for days now and hadn't been this loopy.

"Did you know, this place has theee best hot chocolate ever?" Peyton asked, patting Lucas on the knee as she spoke. She was smiling more than he'd seen her smile the entire time they were dating.

"Its not bad"

"Not bad? Its amazing. I'm so glad you came"

"What? Are you ok?" Lucas asked, that's when he caught a whiff of her breath, and started to realize what was really going on.

"Me? I'm fine… perfectly fine. Lets sit"

"You are sitting"

"Then lets lay" Peyton said, sliding over on the bed to give Lucas some room to lay with her. He wasn't sure what he should do. He was pretty sure alcohol and pain medicine didn't mix well… but then again if he took her down to Whitey and she was caught drunk, there was no telling what kind of trouble she'd get into.

"You're drunk"

"What? Noooo"

"Yea, you are" Lucas sighed. He was positive now, but he wasn't sure where she'd gotten the alcohol, or the hot chocolate for that matter. He'd been standing at the hot chocolate cart the entire time and hadn't seen her come down.

"Lets do it"

"Do what?"

"It" Peyton giggled. Lucas had never seen her like this. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen _anyone_ like this.

"Peyton, what'd you get into?"

"I told you, hot chocolate"

"Right. That's probably not good with your pain medicine" Lucas sighed, not sure why he was even bothering. There was nothing they could do now but let it all wear off.

"You know what I love?"

"What?"

"Sitting on the front porch, drinking hot chocolate with you and, Jenny. I love that little girl" Peyton smiled. She didn't sound drunk anymore, just quiet, and happier. Happier than Lucas had heard her in a long time. She was obviously delusional, and Lucas felt bad that she had to be this messed up to be happy. But the point was, she was happy, even if it was only until the alcohol wore off. So, he decided just to play along, for her sake.

"Yea"

"I didn't mean to say his name Jake, I wanted to marry you. You're my Jake. I love you"

Brooke sat up against the wall in the bathroom while Rachel was still trying to hear the conversation. The good news was that Rachel was 90 sure they weren't having sex. The bad news was, she was only able to catch certain words from each sentence as they talked. So all they were getting out of the whole conversation were things like "Drunk, love, it, no, fine, ect; and it was making things extremely difficult on Brooke. She'd long since decided to play nice and not cut the crotch out of Peyton's underwear, even though Rachel had begged her to do it anyway. And now she was just waiting for this whole day to be over so she could just to go bed.

"What are they talking about?" She finally whispered, hoping maybe Rachel was having better luck with listening in.

"Um, all I heard was you're my and I love you, and something about a little girl!"

"They're already planning their kids?"

"Or maybe its some kinky sex game and Lucas is a child molester!" Rachel snorted, covering her mouth so she didn't laugh too loud.

"Great, you didn't hear anything about farm animals in there did you?" Brooke asked sarcastically.

"Actually, I think he was talking about a fat hog, but hey, he could have meant you"

"Really? Because I'm pretty sure I heard him say cow, and we all know that translates to Rachel!"

"Shh!" Rachel whispered hearing it get silent and footsteps coming towards them"

"Shower?"

"Are you kidding? What if they come in naked to shower, get in the closet" Rachel whispered opening the closet door. Both girls hurried in and shut the door just as Lucas opened the door to the bathroom. Both Brooke and Rachel crossed their fingers that he wasn't doing anything involving a toilet. They watched through the cracks as he turned the water on, splashed his face, and then sat down on the floor. Pen and notebook in hand and started writing. She opened the notebook pretty far in, so Brooke guessed whatever he was doing in there, he'd been working on for a while. She took a quiet deep breath and sat carefully back against the back wall, hoping that he didn't plan on finishing the whole notebook today.


	7. Chapter 7

**Day 4**

_"Was it love, or just the idea of being in love?"_

-Anonymous

Brooke and Rachel hadn't thought they were ever going to get out of that closet, but 5 hours later, somewhere around 4:00, Lucas finally shut the notebook, stood up, and left the room. Brooke and Rachel just sat there, legs numb, aching from being cramped, in awe at the self-discipline that Lucas had, to sit there for 5 hours and write. Brooke wasn't that surprised though, she knew Lucas loved to write, and wanted to be a writer. Maybe now he was actually trying.

Peyton was passed out on the bed when they made their way out of the bathroom. Once they got back to Rachel's room, Brooke left her there to finally listen to her Fall Out Boy in peace, meanwhile she went downstairs to stretch her legs. It was driving her completely crazy to know what was in that notebook. The only writing she knew of that Lucas ever did was for school or her letters. He'd told her hundreds of times that he wanted to be a writer, but she'd never actually seen him write. Part of her felt proud, she was glad he was finally doing something that meant so much to him. But the other part was just curious. What was he writing about? He'd never really mentioned what he wanted to write about to her, just that he wanted to write.

Just as she was aimlessly walking around, going through hundreds of possible Lucas subjects in her head, she saw him. Sitting on the couch near the window talking to Nathan and Haley. That was definitely her cue to turn the other way, but as her luck would have it today, the other way was even worse than the Lucas way.

"There you are" Brooke jumped at the sight of Nick standing right in front of her. She'd practically run him over,

"Me? Um yea"

"I thought we could go get some coffee, talk about what you're going to write for your essay"

"Actually, I was just going to meet someone. We thought we'd go guy hunting" Brooke said, scared to name an actual person in case Nick ran into them later. She did figure how ever the guy hunting comment would piss him off.

"You know, its things like that, that make you look so immature. You could be an amazing woman if you would let silly things like that go"

"Well, I'm 18 and that's what you do when you're 18, sorry but you know. Casey Addison is a little more your age I think"

"From my freshman literature class? Your funny, come on. Just a drink. We can also have another little chat about what we talked about last night" Nick said, pulling slightly harder on her arm. At this point Brooke didn't know what she was going to do. She couldn't really make a scene, he'd just make it look like it was her fault or something. She was stuck, or so she thought.

"Hey, you ready?" A voice said from behind Brooke. She'd never been so happy to hear Lucas' voice in her life.

"Can I help you Mr. Scott?"

"Brooke and I had plans"

"Plans?" Nick asked, looking a little suspicious. Brooke really wished she hadn't told him she was going man hunting with someone now.

"Yea"

"Really?"

"Really" Lucas said, with the straightest, most believable face Brooke had ever seen anyone have.

"Well we better get going. There aren't going to be any good ones left if we don't hurry?"

"Yea, I'd hate to miss a good one"

"I'll bet. We'll talk later" Nick sighed, giving Brooke one last look before leaving her with Lucas.

"What the hell is his problem?"

"Thanks"

"Yea, no problem" Lucas said, still in disbelief at what an asshole of a teacher they had. He shook his head in Nick's direction, and then looked back at Brooke. He could tell that she was upset, and didn't know what to say to make it any better. With the way things were with them, he was afraid one word might upset her. So, after giving her one last look to make sure she was ok, he started to walk away.

"Hey, Luke"

"Yea?"

"I'd watch out" Brooke smiled raising her eyebrows at Lucas. He looked confused obviously, and she wasn't even sure that she should tell him. But, in hopes that it would make the moment less awkward, she decided to let him know what he had gotten himself into.

"What?"

"You just told Chavez you were going man hunting"

After going upstairs to check on Peyton who was still asleep, Lucas decided to walk a few doors down and see what Rachel was doing. Normally he didn't really talk to Rachel, they didn't have much in common, and the fact that she was Brooke's best friend right now didn't help with their relationship, especially recently. But today had gotten him worried about Brooke, and since he couldn't talk to her without the chance of seriously upsetting her, he decided that maybe Rachel was the next best thing.

When he got there, her door was wide open, and she was lying on her bed with her headphones in, looking through a magazine. He almost turned around, imagining how mad Brooke would get at him if she found out that he was talking to Rachel about her, but then he pictured Chavez grabbing her wrist and decided that he didn't have a choice.

"Rachel?" Lucas asked, loud enough so she could hear him over her headphones.

"Oh look, the Easter bunny brought me my very own man whore. Damn, I told him I wanted it in fun size. Shouldn't you be off working a street corner or something?"

"I was wondering if we could talk"

"I don't talk to you so much anymore. Its all lies" Rachel sighed and pretended to hit play on her ipod. But the truth was, she'd actually been waiting for Lucas to come to her for a while now. Now she was going to make him work for information.

"What? When have I ever lied to you?"

"On our date"

"What?" Lucas asked completely confused. He hated it how she called it 'their date', like they'd actually done something date like on it.

"On our date. I do believe you said, and I quote "Brooke's the one" over and over and over until my head hurt and my boobs almost froze off from the cold as I was standing there naked in front of you"

"Ok? How was that a lie?"

"Um, are you dating Brooke anymore? I didn't think so" Rachel smiled, again pretending to hit play on her ipod. She could tell she was making him nervous, and that was good. Probably the only way she was going to be able to get through to him.

"I'm worried about her"

"Shouldn't you be worrying about your girlfriend who's passed out?"

"I think Chavez is trying to make a move on her" Lucas finally said. He wasn't sure what Rachel knew and what she didn't, so he tried to keep it as cryptic as possible.

"What?"

"She told me what happened with them, and now I think he's like pressuring her"

"Why do you care? So what if she wants to dare a teacher? Its hot, he's got more money than you, and probably a bigger penis" Rachel smiled, feeling a great deal of satisfaction with herself. Lucas on the other hand, was just getting pissed off. Clearly Rachel knew as much as he did about the situation by her lack of reaction at the mention of them together.

"Rachel"

"What? I say good for her"

"We both know she doesn't want that" Lucas said. Rachel of course agreed with him, but she couldn't ever let him know that.

"Leave her alone Luke. She's distant for a reason. She broke up with you remember?"

"Remember? Are you kidding me? Don't you think I remember every day?"

"Don't whine at me, it's your own fault" Rachel muttered, this time actually hitting play. She didn't have time for his whining of all things. So what if he was madly in love with Brooke, obviously he wasn't ready to do anything about it yet and so she didn't have time for him.

"I tried to fight for her"

"No, you didn't. Look, did you cry every night for a month after she broke up with you? Ok, well yea you probably did sissy ass. But the point is she did too. All she wanted was for you to tell her you loved her and you would make it work. Instead you're off playing shopping spree with Peyton on her birthday. That's a nice picture she has of you two walking arm in arm by the way"

"But I was there for her" Lucas said, trying to defend himself somewhat, but he had to admit, things were looking pretty bad. He had had no idea that Brooke was there that night at Macy's.

"That's not the point Lucas! The point is you kept telling her there was nothing between you and Peyton, and then you're off kissing her and holding hands and walking arm in arm. What's she supposed to think?"

"I just don't understand why it's always about Peyton"

"Maybe because it always is. Everyone feels so bad for Peyton. Poor Peyton, her mom died, and her brother attacked her, whine whine whine, and yea. It's sad. But does anyone ever think about Brooke? The one whose stuck picking up the pieces from Ellie and Keith and Hott Peyton Brother? Brooke whose parents haven't bothered to contact her in 2 months? No. And that's why I hope she goes off to college and makes a hell of a lot better friends than she has here. What kind of best friend, tells you the night your boyfriend gets back from a trip, that she has feelings for him again?" Rachel was mad now. Ever since she and Brooke had become friends, she'd become somewhat protective over her. Probably because she'd seen how hurt Brooke had been through all of this. No one deserved to be treated the way Peyton had treated Brooke.

"What?"

"Why do you think she and Peyton stopped speaking before the wedding? Are you that slow? Why do you think she freaked out so bad about that kiss? You basically called her crazy, and yet, here it is, 3 months later and you're dating Peyton. Maybe its time you re-evaluate what time of person your girlfriend is"

Lucas didn't know what to say. He didn't even know what to think. All this time he'd spent wondering what happened, why Brooke was so paranoid and it really had been Peyton. He felt guilty for not believing her, but never in a million years would he have imagined that Peyton would have the nerve to do something like that. Something that mean to her best friend, and to him. She knew that he was in love with Brooke. Then it came to him. Of course she would. If she had feelings for him then of course she'd want Brooke to know, she had to of known Brooke would get scared and run, after all she was her best friend, and did know everything about her.

Everything was making sense, except one thing. Earlier why, when Peyton thought he was Jake, had she told him she loved him. Sure, she was delusional but that was usually when the truth came out. Either way, there was only one thing he could do now.

Brooke, out of sheer boredom had made nice with Nathan since she had nothing better to do. As usual all he had to talk about was basketball, and whatever fight he and Haley were having at that particular moment. It was disgusting. How could Haley have taken such a hot man whore of a guy like Nathan, and made him completely boring? As good of a question as that was, it'd have to wait for another day. Today she had much more important things to do, like find Lucas's notebook. It was killing her to know what he was writing in that thing, and sadly, the only way to find out was to listen to Nathan's boring basketball and marriage stories.

"And then Haley was like 'Nathan, you're an ass' and I tried to tell her that she knew that when she married me and she got all mad and slammed the door so I chased after her. She just makes me so mad sometimes you know? Its like ugh, I don't know what to do" Nathan sighed, wiping his eyes. Meanwhile Brooke pretended to be paying attention, while scopeing the room for Lucas' notebook.

"Uh huh, yea, that sucks"

"Did Lucas ever make you that mad?"

"What?" Brooke was caught completely off guard by the fact Nathan had thought to even ask her a question, after all… he hadn't in the past hour

"Lucas, when you guys would fight"

"All the time"

"How'd you get through it?" Nathan asked. She could tell that this fight with Haley was really bothering him, and she really wanted to help, but considering she and Lucas weren't together anymore, she guessed she probably wasn't the best one to give him marriage advice.

"Um, usually sex, but you can see how well that worked out"

"Seriously"

"We talked it out. Lucas had this thing about never having angry sex, I know, crazy right? But we'd sit there and talk about whatever we were fighting about until we weren't mad anymore. Then we'd have sex" Brooke laughed, trying to lighten the mood a little, even if it was the truth.

"And that worked?"

"Yea, we had rules like, we _were_ allowed to yell, but we had to give the other one a chance to yell back. Usually he just got so tired of fighting with me he'd tell me how pretty I was and kiss me, and I'd apologize and we'd go have sex"

"I wish Haley were that easy" Nathan sighed looking down at the floor.

"Hey"

"I meant to make up with"

"Right, so, um. Where's Lucas?" Brooke asked, feeling she had done her daily share of helping the needy. Now it was her turn to get help.

"Haven't seen him all day"

"Right, have you um, have you seen a green notebook of his lying around? He said I could borrow some math notes in it"

"Nope. Sorry the only green one I've seen is the one he writes in" Nathan answered, making Brooke cringe. This wasn't going how she had wanted it too.

"Oh, well hey they might be in there"

"Nice try Brooke"

"What?" Brooke asked, trying to sound as innocent as possible. Sadly, Nathan wasn't buying it.

"I don't know where he put it"

"Damn it"

"And even if I did" Nathan laughed but Brooke got the picture.

"Fine, I was never here"

"Right, and hey, thanks"

"For what?" Brooke asked, still mad that she wasn't able to obtain the notebook.

"Listening. Haley doesn't do that too much lately"

"No problem Nate"

When Lucas got back to Brooke and Peyton's room around 9, Peyton was awake, lying on the bed drawing. How she was managing to draw with what he imagined a pretty bad hang over, he wasn't sure but at least this way he'd be able to talk to her. What he was getting ready to do wasn't going to be fun, but he didn't have much of a choice. Right now their whole relationship was based on a lie, and wasn't doing anything good for anyone.

"Hey, feeling better?" Lucas asked sitting down on the bed next to Peyton. She still looked a little tired, but this couldn't wait.

"Yea, wow. I don't know what happened"

"You were pretty drunk"

"Yea, that's what this hangover feeling is telling me. I should have known though" Peyton sighed. Actually, she had known. As soon as she'd taken a sip of the Jack laced hot chocolate she'd known.

"We need to talk"

"Sure"

"Do you remember anything from-" Lucas started but Peyton cut him off. She could tell from the tone in his voice he was worried and wanted to make things easier for him.

"Today? No"

"Right. Peyton I don't really know how to do this"

"What? Did we have sex and I don't remember?" Peyton laughed, actually hoping that that might be the case.

"No. I'm just gonna ask. Did you tell Brooke you had feelings for me when we were still together?"

"Who told you that?"

"Did you?" Lucas asked, really not in the mood to dance around the subject. He already had a headache from everything Rachel had told him, he just wanted to get this over with as soon as possible.

"Yea, but I mean that doesn't matter now"

"Why? Why would you, god Peyton. This whole time I couldn't understand why she was shutting you out. You know, I don't blame her"

"Lucas" Peyton hadn't expected him to be so upset. What was the big deal? So what she had told Brooke. Knowing Brooke she would have probably broken up with him for some other reason down the road somewhere. He had to know that.

"So all that crap about wanting to help me get back together with her? All that time I was hanging out with you, and I couldn't understand why she was so upset. I basically called her crazy!"

"I'm sorry"

"Why? Why would you tell her that?" Lucas asked, trying hard not to yell. He was so frustrated right now. He just couldn't get over it. How could Peyton have done that? How could she have been so selfish, to both him and Brooke after everything they'd done for her over the years, especially Brooke.

"Because I didn't want to lie"

"You couldn't have just kept it to yourself?"

"Lucas" Peyton cried. She didn't know what to say. She knew all of this was probably going to get out one day yeah, but she never expected him to make this big of a deal out of it. Not when they were already together, and Brooke wasn't even in the picture anymore.

"You knew she was everything to me, and you sat back and watched me loose her all because of you"

"I love you Lucas"

"See that's the thing. Maybe I'd feel worse about all of this if it was me" Lucas sighed, deciding to bring the Jake part up now. He might as well get it all out while he was there. He had to admit, it did make him feel better that it wasn't him. Because for him, it definitely wasn't her.

"What are you talking about?"

"You should call Jake, it'll make him feel good that you wanted to marry him"

"How'd-" Peyton didn't have words. How had Lucas found all this out? There wasn't anyone who knew about her asking Jake to marry her except for Jake.

"I can't do this anymore Peyton. You didn't want to lie when you told Brooke about your feelings, fine. Well I'm not lying anymore either. Neither of us wants to be in this relationship Peyton. It's out of convince and I'm done"

"Lucas"

"I'm sorry. I'm just not doing it anymore" Lucas sighed, giving her one last sad smile before leaving the room. She'd get over it before long anyway. It wasn't what either of them had wanted. At least he hoped what he was telling himself was the truth. He thought about going to see Brooke before heading back to his room, but decided against it. It wasn't really even about her anymore. Sure, he loved her, but the breakup with Peyton had to do with more than her. At this point he just needed a break. He needed to be alone for a little while. It wasn't like Brooke was ready to jump into any sort of a relationship anytime soon anyway.

When he got back to the room, Nathan was lying on the bed watching sports center. Lucas thought about maybe telling him what had just happened, but decided he wasn't really in the mood for talking right now. All he wanted to do was sit down and write.

"Hey, thought you might want this" Nathan said, throwing Lucas's green writing notebook towards him.

"What?"

"Brooke came in looking for it. I hid it, figuring you wouldn't want her reading your love for her"

"How'd she even know about it?" Lucas asked, flipping through the pages to make sure his bookmark was still where he'd left it.

"Don't ask me. My guess is if you go in her room you'll find the exact same thing in purple, only change the Brookes to Lucas"

"You know, Rachel says she only broke up with me because of Peyton"

"Rachel's a smart" Nathan laughed. People said a lot of mean things about Rachel, but her being stupid wasn't one of them.

"I broke up with Peyton"

"Is she ok?"

"Yea, I think so. Its not me she wants anyway" Lucas sighed. Nathan knew exactly what he was talking about before Lucas could even say another word. Lucas and Peyton were just now figuring our what people in Tree Hill had known for months.

"Yea, well hey. That's what rebounds are for. After all that, are you still sure Brooke's the one?"

"Yea, now I've just got to find a way to get her back"


	8. Chapter 8

**Day 5**

_"Love is to let those we love be perfectly themselves, and not to twist them to fit our own image... otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find in them."_

Lucas laid back in bed, staring at the clock. 2:46, 2:47, 2:48. Nathan was in the bed beside his, mumbling something about Haley and Deb having the same hair cut in his sleep. He thought about going downstairs to write some, but changed his mind at the thought of getting caught out late again. So he just laid there, thinking about the events of the previous day. Breaking up with Peyton was still weighing on his mind. Maybe he should have cooled off a little before doing it. While she shouldn't have done what she did, there wasn't anything she could do about it now and he probably should have remembered that while he was yelling at her. But, he was sure it was best for both of them. She wanted to be with Jake, and he wanted to be with Brooke. It'd been Brooke for he past 2 years. She'd been his first love, he'd lost his virginity to her, and she'd even branded him with a tattoo. He was a whipped guy and no matter what he did, it was always going to come back to her. The worst part was, now that he was alone. He missed her, terribly. She was right down the hall and he still missed her.

He missed the way she'd play with his fingers in the morning to wake him up, and the way she'd kiss his bottom lip when she was trying to get away with something. Or the way they'd just lay there together, nose to nose, staring into each others eyes. But mostly, he just missed her smile. He missed the way she'd grin when he came to pick her up for school, or the way she'd smile at him during class to distract him. Here he was, 18 years old, and completely in love. All the writers said it wasn't possible. You didn't find your soul mate in high school. And if you did, it wasn't supposed to last. Maybe not, but the way Lucas saw it, how was he ever going to find out if he didn't do something about it.

Across the hall, Brooke was lying in her own bed daydreaming. She'd been half awake all night waiting for Peyton to come in, but she never had. This made Brooke suspect the worst. Maybe Nathan was crashing with Haley, and Peyton with Lucas. Maybe they were finally having sex. Maybe it was right. I mean hey, their hair matched perfectly, they were both totally emo and liked that weird music. Maybe that's all there was to a relationship these days. Maybe she just had to find some guy who had hair like hers and liked listening to Jessica Simpson. Of course, that guy was probably gay, which meant she was probably going to be alone forever. That seemed about right.

Brooke sighed, and rolled over to her other side to try and get a little more comfortable. Deciding not to think about Lucas and Peyton anymore, she brought her thoughts back to Lucas' notebook and its contents. She wasn't sure why it was bothering her so much. With her luck it was probably just full of stupid quotes or weird authors names that Lucas was planning on reading. Just as she was remembering how terrible the few books she had read for him were, she heard the doorknob turn and then saw what she hoped was Peyton's shadow, although she never could tell. Judging from the hair on whatever it was, it could have been Medusa. Brooke laid there as quiet as possible, hoping Peyton wouldn't notice she was awake. Sadly, no such luck.

"Hey, you awake?" Peyton whispered, shocked to see that Brooke was actually in their room tonight. Normally she'd found a way to sneak out by 3AM.

"Yea"

"This is a first"

"I figured you were with Lucas so" Brooke started, but Peyton interrupted.

"We broke up"

"What? Peyton, I'm sorry"

"I guess it just wasn't working. I mean he didn't even really give me a reason you know?" Peyton sighed. Ok, so Lucas _had_ given her a reason, but she wasn't sure Brooke really needed to know the whole story. It wasn't really important anyway. The only thing that mattered was that she and Lucas were over.

"Yea, break ups like that suck"

"Yea, whatever. I mean I guess I'm not really that upset about it anyway. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't want me"

"He's probably just confused. Knowing him he'll come crawling back tomorrow to apologize" Brooke said, trying to make things a little better. She wasn't sure why she was being so nice to Peyton; maybe it was because she too, knew what it felt to be dumped by Lucas Scott and it wasn't fun. Brooke remembered how she could barely look at a French fry without crying and thinking of Lucas for the first 2 weeks after he had broken up with her.

"Maybe. I don't know, its kind of nice, just you and me. Neither of us dating him"

"Yea, I guess none of us really had _that_ kind of love"

"What do you expect? Its high school. Hey, I'm sorry if I was a bitch when I was with him" Peyton smiled. It was good to have Brooke there with her. Neither was plotting against the other one anymore, it was like a truce. And she'd missed her best friend.

"Yea, me too. We should do something tonight, well I guess tomorrow night"

"Like what?"

"I don't know. Like a 'We don't need Lucas Scott' night" Brooke laughed, too tired to come up with a better name for their girls night. But it seemed appropriate.

"Sounds good"

"You, me, Bev, Haley and Rach can all go out and have some fun"

"Yea, I like it" Peyton smiled, actually looking forward to their night. This hadn't exactly been the best trip for her what with breaking her leg and Lucas breaking up with her. And they still had 5 more days to go.

"And get totally smashed"

"Sounds like fun. No guys"

"Definitely no guys"

The entire next day was spent planning their night. Rachel and Bevin were sent out to find the perfect club, or at least one that would take their fake ID's. Haley was standing guard for any teacher, or guy for that matter who might over hear their conversation; Brooke was in charge of clothing, and Peyton, in charge of finding where to get the alcohol in case the club didn't work out.

After searching the two most obvious rooms (Rachel and Mouth's) for a source of alcohol, Peyton decided to try the next best thing. Nathan. Sure, he wasn't one to get completely smashed, at least not lately. But he was really good at finding some good alcohol, no matter where they were. But when Peyton got into their room (still having the key that Lucas had given her) it was completely Nathan less, so she decided to snoop around to see if she could find maybe a phone book or something. Lucas' side of the room was of course completely useless. Other than some stupid Steinbeck book sitting on his pillow, there was nothing. Not that Nathan's was much help either. Other than a stupid green notebook and a tiny bottle of rum, Nathan's side was just as dry as Lucas' as far as she could tell. She was just getting ready to get started on the suitcases when the doorknob twisted.

"Peyton"

"Hey, Nate" Peyton smiled, shoving the small bottle of rum and the green notebook into her oversized purse to hide them.

"Need some help?"

"Nope, um. I just left one of my earrings on the night stand and I needed it for tonight"

"What's tonight?" Nathan asked, trying to act interested since he felt bad for Peyton. Sure, he was in total support of Brooke and Lucas since he was tired of hearing their whining, but that didn't mean that any of this was easy on Peyton.

"The girls and I are having a 'we don't need Lucas Scott' night"

"Sweet, I'm in"

"Girls only" Peyton laughed, patting Nathan on the shoulder. She laughed even harder when she saw how disappointed he looked when he realized he wasn't invited.

"I have a piercing"

"Nope. You're not allowed. Sorry"

"Hey, I'm sorry about you and Luke" Nathan said, in what was probably the most sincere tone Peyton had heard him use in a while. It felt good to have him tell her that. Like he really did care about someone other than himself.

"Yea, me too"

"I guess when your hearts not in it, its not in it"

"Guess not. Ok, well I'm off to find some means of alcohol" Peyton sighed, remembering she was on a deadline, and so far she hadn't even found enough alcohol to get a cat drunk.

"Try the bus. Whitey's got a stash under the 3rd seat on the right"

"Thanks"

Of course, after discovering that the girls were having a party night, Nathan couldn't wait to tell the guys. They might as well get in trouble too, if all their women were going to be grounded. First he found Mouth, who of course was all in at the mention of alcohol. Then there was Lucas, who was a little reluctant at first, but then decided he might as well, he had nothing better to do now that he was single again. And so the planning started.

Peyton hadn't realized until an hour or so after her Nathan encounter that she'd also walked out of the room with his green notebook. It wasn't until she was on her way to tell Brooke they were good in the alcohol department that she reached into her purse and pulled it out, and then a second later, realized it _wasn't_ Nathan's.

Peyton got to the club, a little early so she could read the notebook without any interruptions. It started with just one drink, a beer while she flipped through the pages about Dan and Karen. Then a Jack and coke while reading the parts about Brooke breaking up with him, and by the time Peyton had reached the section where Lucas had written about him and Brooke's last kiss, she'd been through a martini and half another one. She couldn't believe what she was reading. At this point she wasn't sure if she was doing the actual reading or if the alcohol was doing it for her, and she didn't really care. All she cared about was by the time Brooke got there with Rachel and Bevin, she wanted revenge.

"Well, well if it isn't my former self" Peyton slurred as Brooke came and sat down at the bar beside her. Brooke wasn't sure if this was supposed to be some kind of a funny joke or what.

"Woah, looks like you're the former Deb. Smells like it too. You ok?"

"I cant believe you, all that crap about lying and cheating and how you'd never do it"

"Is this about me and Nathan again? Peyton. Look, I explained. Even you said that no one could resist the nipple ring" Brooke half laughed, and was half serious. She wasn't sure why now Peyton was suddenly bringing up the Nathan situation again.

"You know what this is about!" Peyton muttered, shoving Brooke as she pushed herself off the barstool to grab her crutches.

"Hey!"

"Don't think I don't know about the kiss"

"What?" Brooke asked, truthfully not having a clue what she was talking about. She seemed so drunk she could have been mumbling about anything…

"How long have you two been sneaking around? Its like two years ago all over again, only now you're me"

"I'm not you, and I don't know what you're talking about!"

"You're nothing but a whore. But hey, if it makes you feel any better. Lucas thought the kiss was amazing" Peyton said, giving her, her best-drunken fake smile. Brooke didn't know what to say. She couldn't believe Lucas would tell Peyton about that, especially when he knew it had nothing to do her wanting to be with him. In fact it was the complete opposite.

"He told you?"

"He didn't have too. He keeps a journal Brooke"

"Peyton, I did it to show him that we couldn't be friends" Brooke said, trying to explain but it wasn't easy. The more she thought about it, the worse it sounded. She had kissed Lucas while he was dating Peyton, and there was no denying that, no matter what the reason.

"Well here" Peyton smiled, leaning in towards Brooke.

"Peyton!"

"What? I'm just showing you we can't be friends"

"Peyton" Brooke said again, calmer this time. She just needed time to explain everything. Once she did, and Peyton was sober, she was sure everything would be ok. It had to be.

"And wait"

"Ow!" Brooke shrieked as she felt Peyton's hand across her cheek. That was it. She was finished playing nice.

"That's for being a cheating slut"

"Well here, since we're dishing them out to cheating sluts"

"Ow!" Peyton shrieked, equally as loud as Brooke had. Brooke was furious. Where did Peyton get off calling her a cheating slut? She'd been trying to save the stupid Pucas relationship! Hell, she was the reason they'd gotten together in the first place!

"He was mine in the first place! So really, when I kissed him. I was just taking back what you stole!"

"Really? You mean what willingly came to me?"

"I mean what I gave to you! Damn it Peyton, I gave him to you. I broke up with him and then told him to get together with you. Whatever, go find some other girls boyfriend to steal" Brooke muttered deciding she'd had enough of this 'who needs Lucas Scott' night.

Meanwhile, the guys were at the bar across the street. Nathan was drunk, slobbering on about Haley and Deb getting matching tattoos. Mouth was drunk, slobbering on something about a pig in his bed, and Lucas was at the bar, trying to ignore it all, wondering what the girls were doing, and if their night was any better than his. Just when he thought things couldn't get any worse after Mouth had thrown up on Nathan's shoes, they did.

"Well, what do we have here?" Lucas heard a familiar voice, only to turn around and see Mr. Chavez, standing behind him.

"Busted"

"Mr. Scott, I do believe you've gotten into enough trouble with me lately"

"Dude man. Leave the guy alone. He's trying to pine for his girl" Nathan slurred, slamming his fist on the bar as he said pine. Afterwards he and Mouth laughed in amusement while Lucas just sat there, wishing he'd just stayed at the lodge.

"Peyton?"

"No, Brooke" Mouth answered this time, trying to do the hand slam like Nathan had, only, missing the bar and hitting Nathan's knee.

"She's your girl now huh?" Nick asked, placing his hand on Lucas's shoulder. It was at this point, Lucas realized that Nick was as drunk as Nathan and Mouth were.

"She's no one's property man… definitely not yours"

Maybe if Lucas hadn't had that first beer, he would have been smart enough not to sat those last 3 words… or at least have been smart enough to have seen Nick's fist coming towards his face as he sat there. But thanks to Mouth and Nathan, he wasn't, and the next thing he knew, he was up against the bar.

"Man, hit him back"

"No, that's what he wants" Lucas sighed. He wasn't sure if he was telling it to Nathan or himself, either way, he knew he couldn't swing back, not if he ever wanted to graduate.

"Whatever. You can leave your lame ass here. I'm sure Brooke's pretty drunk at this point. I bet she's real good in bed when-"

Apparently graduating hadn't been as important to Lucas as he'd thought it was 3 seconds before. There was just something in him that snapped at hearing Nick talk about Brooke like that, he couldn't take it. And so, next thing he knew, Nick was on the floor.

"I hope you enjoy repeating 12th grade, assaulting a teacher?"

"I'm pretty sure that's just as bad as sleeping with a student, and then sexually harassing them"

"Dude, you slept with him?" Nathan laughed, then raised his eyebrow at Lucas in what looked like amazement.

"No you idiot"

"There will be a serious discussion about this tomorrow"

Lucas waited for Nick to walk off, and them found his way back to the lodge, leaving Nathan and Mouth at the bar. Tonight had already been bad enough and he knew that if he stayed any longer things were only going to get worse, and he really didn't need that in his life right now. He didn't have a girlfriend, which sure, was his own fault, but it still sucked. He was possibly suspended from school for hitting a teacher, which would mean he either wouldn't graduate, or he'd get kicked out of school all together. His mom was probably at home, shacking up with Dan, even though she was 7 months pregnant. Everything in this life just seemed so complicated compared to 6 months ago when he was dating Brooke, Keith was still alive, Dan was still hated, and he wasn't beating up teachers. Maybe it'd get better in a few months when he went away to college and met new people, at least he hoped it would.

Once he got back to him and Nathan's room, he laid on his bed for a minute to take in everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. It was a lot. All he really felt like doing now was writing, but before he could even get into Nathan's side of the dresser to get his notebook, his doorknob twisted and the door slammed open.

"You" Brooke yelled, walking up close enough to Lucas so she could slap his bad shoulder. He deserved it.

"What?"

"I can't believe you!"

"What's wrong?" Lucas asked, trying to figure out if she were drunk or not. She didn't seem it, in fact she didn't even smell drunk. But she was pissed, and clearly violent.

"You! God, you cant just let either of us be happy can you! I'm not her"

"What are you talking about?"

"Go get back together with her" Brooke said, crossing her arms and glaring at him as she spoke. She was so angry she wasn't even sure what she was saying. How could he do this too her? After everything she'd told him about not being like Peyton, here he had gone and made it so she basically had to be.

"What?"

"I wont be her! If you broke up with her because of me, then you might as well go take her back"

"That's not why I broke up with her" Lucas said, trying to protect this shoulder from the wrath of Brooke's fist again. He wasn't sure he'd ever seen her _this_ pissed off. Hurt, sure. Frustrated, yes. But never this mad, especially at him, and he didn't even know what he'd done.

"Really? Apparently your little green book says other wise"

"You read that?"

"I didn't have too, Peyton read it to me" Brooke smiled, waiting to see his reaction. It was a good one. Lucas just sat there, completely confused, looking guilty. Any other time, Brooke probably would have been happy to know he wrote about her, that he still thought about her. And maybe one day she'd be able to look past this and not be upset. But right now, with the position he had put her in, he was going to hear her wrath, and feel it too if she had her way.

But as she continued to glare at him, it hit her that maybe it was her own guilt talking. After all she'd been the one to kiss him in the first place, all he'd done was write about it.

"Brooke, I-" Lucas started but he really didn't know what to say. As bad as he felt, he couldn't erase what Peyton had read, and he couldn't help how she felt about Brooke.

"I wont be her"

"I know you wont. Brooke you didn't do anything wrong, I did"

"No, I kissed you. I knew better and then I did it anyway" Brooke sighed, deciding to lay off him a little. It hadn't occurred to her until a few minutes before that this was mostly her fault anyway, and here she was blaming Lucas.

"Yea, you did. But you know what the difference is? You didn't act on it. Peyton and I did"

"Was it because of me?"

"What?" Lucas asked, but he knew exactly what she was asking. He was just trying to find a way of avoiding the question until he thought of a lie that would mask the truth.

"You breaking up with her?"

"It wasn't about you. It just wasn't right, you know? We were lying to ourselves thinking it ever was. Its called rebound right?"

"Yea, I guess" Brooke sighed, giving him a slight smile. She knew it had been selfish to even ask, but she also knew they were both lying to each other at that very moment, pretending they didn't want to kiss each other, both looking at the floor as they spoke.

"I just need to be alone right now. Besides it's like you said. Graduations coming up, and its not like we'll all see each other much after that anyway"

"Yea. So, what'd you do to your eye?"

"I could ask you the same thing" Lucas laughed, avoiding the question until he thought of a better lie. He couldn't tell her what had really happened, not after everything else tonight. She'd just feel guilty, and he'd just end up feeling even more stupid for punching a teacher.

"Peyton. You?"

"Right, just some guy at the bar. Mouth tried to take his beer and then ducted when the guy went to punch"

"Damn, Mouth loves his booze lately" Brooke laughed, making eye contact with Lucas for a split second, then looking down at the floor. It was quiet for a minute, while they both sat there on the bed wishing things were different.

"Yea, well he'll be paying for it tomorrow"

"Yea, well I'm gonna go try and talk to Peyton. Sorry for"

"I'm pretty sure you bruised my nipple. I think it's numb" Lucas laughed, then gave Brooke a smile that said everything was ok.

"Well then if I come and pierce it in your sleep you'll never know"

"Hey, I'm sorry about you and Peyton. I'll talk to her tomorrow if you want"

"You'd do that?" Brooke asked, thinking she might actually take him up on the offer if he was serious. She was definitely going to need the help, judging from how pissed off Peyton was when she left.

"Well, I'm kind of the reason you guys are screwed in the first place"

"Kind of?"

"I'll talk to her" Lucas laughed, and then leaned in to give Brooke a hug good night.

"Hey, now that we're not together, and you guys aren't together. You think we can just all be friends? Without all the weird sexual tension?"

"Yea, sure. I mean if Peyton doesn't smother us both in our sleep"

"Yea, well sleep with one eye open, because she was pretty drunk when I left and I'm not totally sure she's thinking clearly" Brooke sighed, deciding she might be better off to sleep with Rachel in her room tonight.

"Yea, you too. Night"

"Night…" Brooke gave Lucas one last smile, then left and shut the door behind her. For a few seconds, she just stood there, in front of his door. In the movies, he'd be on the other side, waiting until it was the perfect time to open the door, find her still waiting, and kiss her. It could end there, and they could all live happily ever after. If she had it her way, that's how it would all end. Just them, together and happy, and Peyton finding someone else. But, unfortunately, this was real life, and every kiss came with consequences, every feeling came with tears, and no one ever really lived happily ever after.


	9. Chapter 9

Day 6 

_"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."_  
- Jacques Delille

Lucas folded the sheet of paper he'd spent the morning writing on, and slipped it in his pocket. He'd have to remember to write it all down in his notebook whenever he got it back. After Brooke had left the night before, he'd spent a lot of time thinking, and searching for what seemed like the perfect quote for this situation. The best he could find was, _"Fate chooses your relations, you choose your friends."_ By _- _Jacques Delille. He guessed people could take the meaning of the quote a few different ways, but the way he saw it was this. Fate chooses who you fall in love with, but you got to choose who you were friends with. Now it was up to him to decide. Could he really be friends with Brooke or Peyton? It wasn't his choice to be in love with Brooke, and it wasn't his choice to _not_ love Peyton, but it was his choice whether or not he could to be friends with either of them.

Since he'd promised Brooke that he'd talk to Peyton, after getting dressed it was the first thing he set out to do. He wasn't looking forward to it, she was going to be pissed off. He could use the "but you shouldn't have read my notebook" line over and over, but at the end of the day, even though he hadn't really _physically_ cheated on Peyton while they were dating, he kind of had emotionally. He guessed that was just as bad, and maybe he would have felt a little more guilt if she hadn't been doing the same thing to him the whole time. The fact of the matter was, neither of them had put 100 into the relationship, because neither of them had wanted too. Now it was just a battle of pride with Peyton, and while he wasn't looking to win it, he was at least hoping to maybe break even.

He walked down the hallway, knocked on the wooden lodge door, and then waited for Peyton to answer it. He guessed that Brooke wasn't there, figuring that she'd probably stayed the night with Rachel, which was good. He wanted to make sure he did this right with Peyton. Making sure that she understood 100 that he was sorry and needed her to realize that none of this was really Brooke's fault. If he couldn't be their friend, then he at least hoped to fix the friendship he'd so badly screwed over.

Peyton finally came to the door, crutches and all. She looked pretty hung over. Lucas contemplated maybe coming back later when she'd be in a better mood, but ultimately decided this needed to get done before Peyton decided to give Brooke matching handprint on the other side of her face. So, deciding to risk his own face, Lucas went for it.

"What are you doing here?" Peyton asked, moving out of the doorway so Lucas could come in. She guessed he had heard about what happened last night, and judging from his face, she also guessed he maybe had a run in with Brooke.

"Can we talk?"

"If its about Brooke, no"

"Look, I just need you to not be mad at her ok?" Lucas asked, deciding to jump right to the point. There wasn't any purpose in trying to make small talk, especially when she didn't want to talk to him at all.

"What? You came all the way over here to tell me that?"

"I came all the way over here to tell you what happened with us had nothing to do with her"

"You guys kissed, and magically after that, you want to break up with me" Peyton sighed, nodding her head as she spoke. Lucas had to admit, it looked pretty bad for him, but that wasn't the reason. Obviously she still didn't remember her little "I love you Jake" speech.

"That's not why"

"Oh really? So it wasn't as "soft and passionate" of a kiss you'd ever had?"

"Yea, can I have that back?" Lucas asked, trying to grab his notebook away from Peyton before she had a chance to read anymore embarrassing stuff he'd written in there. Then, with his luck she'd probably already read it all.

"You didn't write once about any of our kisses in here. Not once"

"Peyton"

"We never had a kiss like that, did we?" Peyton asked, flipping the notebook shut and handing it back to him. It was useless to her now anyway.

"It just wasn't there for us"

"And for you and Brooke?"

"That's not happening either, ok?" Lucas asked, making sure he got the point across that no one was with anyone anymore.

"So what? We're all supposed to just sit back and try and be friends now?"

"Yea"

"Guys are so stupid" Peyton muttered shaking her head. He had to be crazy. Like all of them could just forget everything that had happened and be friends again.

"Who says we cant? I mean isn't that why we all started this in the first place? We were friends, you and Brooke were friends, and me and Brooke were friends"

"Ok, you and Brooke have never been _friends_"

"What? Yes we have! After we broke up junior year" Lucas said, deciding that Peyton was crazy. Of course he and Brooke had been friends, in fact that had been really good friends. They'd lived together!

"No, see she was in love with you that whole time, and you were in love with her. That doesn't count"

"So, if you put it that way, you and I haven't been friends in a long time. Not since, way before the wedding"

"I guess we can start slow" Peyton sighed, not seeing the point in trying to argue with him. He had a comeback for everything and she guessed he wasn't going to give up until he got his way.

"Slow is good"

"Just get Brooke and meet me downstairs for breakfast in 30 minutes"

Meanwhile Brooke stood in front of the bathroom mirror, trying to find the perfect shirt to take the attention away from her black and blue face. It wasn't _that_ bad, but it was definitely noticeable and was driving her crazy. First she'd tried on purple, but then realized that it matched the purple in her face too much and it looked like she was trying too hard. Then black, then white. Nothing seemed to work. She was so pre-occupied with trying to find a shirt that worked, that she didn't even hear Rachel open the door to let Lucas in.

"Hey, Brooke's in the bathroom trying to find a shirt that takes away from her rainbow face" Rachel said, not bothering to look up from her magazine as she let Lucas in. Clearly she hadn't bothered to look up and see that Brooke was coming out of the bathroom in her pink polka dot bra either.

"I definitely don't notice it in that" Lucas laughed, trying to figure out if he should look away, or act casual about it. He decided to wait and play off of how Brooke re-acted. If she ran back into the bathroom, he'd look away. But if she just stood there half naked in usual Brooke Davis fashion, then he'd be casual about it too.

"Really? I don't think yours is noticeable enough"

"I like that one"

"You should, you picked it out" Brooke smiled raising her eyebrows at him for a split second, then went back to looking for the perfect shirt. She was trying not to turn red, considering she was standing there in a bra, but it was hard and she wasn't really sure why. Lucas had seen her in much less hundreds of times and it had never really bothered her before.

"Lucas used to go bra shopping?"

"Every week" Lucas mumbled remembering the endless hours spent at Victoria Secret.

"Wow Scott, most guys would like that"

"I really didn't see the point when I was just going to be taking it off her in an hour anyway"

"Did she go boxer shopping with you too?" Rachel joked, but then stopped seeing the look on both Brooke and Lucas' faces. She was guessing that was a yes.

"So did you talk to Peyton?" Brooke asked, deciding to change the subject away from her bra and Lucas' boxers.

"Yea, she wasn't happy about it, but she wants us to meet her downstairs for breakfast in 30 minutes"

"Ok, good. That's good. 30 minutes?"

"Yep, want me to come and get you?" Lucas asked, knowing that Brooke and time didn't mix. 30 minutes to her meant an hour and a half.

"Yea, I might be dressed by then"

"Don't rush"

"Wow" Rachel giggled once Lucas had shut the door and she was sure he was gone. She hadn't witnessed a flirt fest of that degree since last year.

"What?"

"What do you mean what? You're standing there in a bra"

"So? Its not like he's never seen me in a bra before"

"You just wanted him to see how much better your boobs are than Peyton's. You're doomed with this whole friends thing, I don't know why you're even bothering" Rachel laughed, looking back down at her magazine. As doomed as Brooke was, it was entertaining to watch it all unfold.

"No I'm not! We can all be friends and he already knows I have way better boobs than Peyton"

"Right, do you want me to call Lucas back in here so he can help you get dressed?"

"Rachel" Brooke snapped throwing down her shirt. She didn't understand what the big deal was. Why couldn't they all just be friends? Or at least pretend to be at first; maybe the real thing would come later.

"Hey, just saying, I give it 3 days before you two are ripping each others clothes off"

"You can give it 3 years if you want, its not happening"

Lucas came and got Brooke somewhere around 8:20 and they were downstairs waiting for Peyton by 8:28. To Lucas' surprise when he went to pick Brooke up she was actually semi dressed and almost ready to go. It was Peyton who was late for the breakfast.

It wasn't that Peyton had meant to be late, in fact she was pretty sure she was going to beat them both there. It was when she went into the bathroom to start getting ready that she realized something. Lucas was now fair game. Either girl could stick her claws into him and there were no rules. Sure, they were all going to try and be friends but in girl talk that meant, whoever won him over got him, and at this point she was behind. She had to make Lucas see how much he missed her, how much he took her for granted when they were together. Maybe then he'd realize what a mistake he'd made. Peyton wasn't really even sure she wanted Lucas back, now it was all about the chase. It was almost like a game to see who could win over Lucas Scott's heart for good, and she was determined to win it.

When she finally got downstairs to the mini restaurant that the lodge had, Brooke and Lucas were already waiting at a table talking and laughing. It figured Brooke had beaten her down there, but that was ok. The good news was that Brooke and Lucas were sitting across from each other at the table, which meant Peyton got the seat in between them. Right then she made a decision. Friends? Sure. She wouldn't do anything to stop it. And she wouldn't even try and flirt with Lucas, at least not until Brooke did. They wanted to all be friends, fine. But the only way it was happening was if they actually _stayed _friends.

"Hey guys" Peyton smiled, sitting down to join them. It all seemed a little awkward but they were all trying.

"Hey"

"Wow, we all look rough"

"Late night bar fights" Brooke laughed. The sight of the 3 of them sitting there all beat up was definitely a Kodak moment if there ever was one.

"Well Brooke and I can account for ours, but Lucas?"

"Mine actually was a late night bar fight, thank you"

"Sure it was" Peyton laughed rolling her eyes at Lucas. Knowing him he probably fell off the bed or something in the middle of the night.

"Aww, you're so rugged"

"I'm pretty sure you beat me up worse last night"

"So. We're actually gonna do this this time?" Peyton asked, starting to feel a little insecure with the flirty comments Brooke and Lucas were throwing back and forth across the table.

"I guess we're gonna try"

The first hour was kind of awkward. A lot of weird silences here and there, catty comments said that weren't intended to come out they way they did, and of course there was a lot of eating to pass the time. It hit a point in the first 20 minutes that Peyton wasn't sure this was ever going to work, but soon enough things started to slowly get better. 2 hours later, Brooke and Peyton were carrying on like nothing had ever happened. Meanwhile, Lucas just sat there, taking it all in. He'd forgotten how funny both Brooke and Peyton were when they talked about old times. Smiling and laughing about times and places that Lucas had never heard of. It really made him miss Haley.

"Peyton used to be completely obsessed with cooking tater tots in the fry daddy" Brooke laughed remembering a time when they actually wanted to cook for themselves. It felt so good just sitting there with Lucas and Peyton, just having fun, without trying to piss the other one off.

"What!"

"You so did. We ate tater tots with everything for like 3 months!"

"What happened?" Lucas asked, having never seen Peyton ever try to cook anything except chocolate chip cookies, and those had definitely turned out bad. He wasn't sure he could ever eat cookies again… ever. And he was pretty sure that anyone who ever heard about the experience wouldn't want too either.

"Nathan became her fry daddy"

"Eww! Brooke!"

"Well he did" Brooke laughed, stealing another French fry off of Lucas's plate. As usual he just rolled his eyes at her and smiled. They'd been sitting there so long that they'd long since ordered lunch food to go with the old toast crusts and eggs still sitting on the table. All 3 of them had completely forgotten there was a world outside of the little room they were in, that was until Lucas felt a tap on his shoulder.

"Mr. Scott"

"Mr. Chavez"

"I just wanted to let you know, I've decided to drop any allegations about what happened last night. But it will require some service. I'll be expecting to see some very clean ski slopes by tomorrow" Mr. Chavez said in a way he thought was discreet enough that neither Brooke or Peyton would know what he was talking about, but it would be crystal clear to Lucas.

"Yea, sure"

"What happened to him?" Peyton whispered as soon as Mr. Chavez had made his way out of the restaurant. But unlike Peyton, Brooke didn't need an answer. Everything was completely clear to her the second she'd seen Nick's eye.

"You… hit him?"

"Brooke"

"He did that too you?" Brooke whispered, rubbing her fingers gently across Lucas' discolored eye. She felt terrible, and now wished she'd never even said anything to Lucas about it. He was Lucas, of course he was going to go out and try and protect her, that's just who he was. Even if it risked him getting into more trouble than the whole situation was worth.

"Wait, you got into a fight with Chavez? That's how you got the black eye?"

"He was drunk and pissed off"

"Apparently so were you to hit a teacher. What'd you do? Beat him a beer pong?" Peyton laughed, finding the whole thing pretty funny. She'd never imagined that Lucas would have it in him to hit a teacher, and she could only begin to guess the reason.

"God. Luke, this isn't your fight. I should be taking care of this, not you"

"What are you talking about?"

"He was drunk, I was pissed, he made a comment after he punched me. I wasn't going to punch back" Lucas was trying hard to explain everything to Brooke in a way that Peyton wouldn't know what they were talking about. But surprisingly Brooke didn't look mad like he'd expected, or even hurt. She just looked sad as she rubbed her finger again across his black and blue eye.

"But you did"

"He doesn't have the right to do this to you"

"I'm sorry" Brooke sighed, finally deciding that this was too much to take in right now. She wasn't upset that Lucas had punched Nick, the guy was an ass and she was sure he deserved it. It was just the fact that he'd finally, after all this, fought for her…literally. Everything that she'd been telling herself all day about how this was going to work, and they were going to be able to be friends was now gone and the only thought that was crossing her mind, was how much she actually loved him.

After a few more seconds of sitting in silence, Brooke had finally gotten up and left Lucas and Peyton to go upstairs and talk to Rachel. She was more confused than ever now and she knew Rachel would tell her like it was.

"Tell me you raped him right then and there" Rachel said, crossing her fingers that Brooke hadn't done anything stupid like just get up and leave.

"What?"

"Um, the guy risked everything for you, fighting a teacher! I think that's what I would consider 'fighting' for you"

"Yea, probably" Brooke sighed, listening to Rachel state the obvious. She knew all she had to do was walk up to him right now and tell him she loved him, and that wasn't what she was scared of. It was what happened after that _I love you_, in the upcoming months that terrified her.

"So?"

"So what?"

"What are you going to do?" Rachel asked, becoming completely annoyed with this whole conversation.

"Nothing. I can't do anything"

"Are you trying to give me a permanent migraine?"

"Peyton and I finally worked things out, and so did she and Lucas. This would just make things completely complicated for nothing, especially when we only have like 4 more weeks of school" Brooke said, she thought she might actually have a valid point with this excuse.

"So? You and Lucas are both going to Carolina"

"Yea, so we get together long enough to get attached and then go to college only to meet new people and break up? I don't want to do that"

"Who says you'll break up?" Rachel asked, trying to make it as hard for Brooke to say no as possible. She knew once they got together things would be fine, it was just a matter of making Brooke get the courage to do it that was hard.

"He's gonna go and meet all these smart girls who read all the same books that he does and like all the same weird music"

"Um, are their names Peyton too?"

"You know what I mean" Brooke muttered, running out of excuses. It was impossible to win an argument with Rachel about anything, especially when she was right.

"Actually I don't. And I'm not spending another month listening to you cry for this guy. Look, its up to you whether you tell him or not, but you should probably go help him clean up the slopes, especially since its kind of your fault he's having to do it in the first place"

"Yea, I probably should" Brooke said the last sentence a little more excitedly than she probably should have, but at this point she didn't care. If anything it would at least give her and Lucas a chance to talk.

"Fine, but if you don't sleep with him, I will! And hey!"

"What?"

"Take this, its cold outside" Rachel said, tossing Brooke her full flask as Brooke made her way back to her room to get her snow gear on.

Downstairs Lucas was slipping on his coat, dreading the cold weather. He'd send Peyton up to the bedroom to bring him the little bottle of rum she said she had, just in case he got too cold, and how he was just waiting for her to come down with it. Then finally, he spotted her blonde curly hair coming from the elevator.

"Here" Peyton said, tossing Lucas the bottle of rum.

"Thanks"

"I still don't get why you're stuck doing this"

"I did punch the guy" Lucas laughed. He wasn't going to argue with anyone about this. He knew Mr. Chavez could have gotten him suspended or even expelled, so a little trashing picking up was nothing.

"I mean, I don't understand why you punched him. What'd he say?"

"Peyton, I"

"She's sleeping with him" Peyton muttered shaking her head. It all made perfect sense now. The awkward looks in class, the rumors that he was sleeping with a student. It was Brooke all along.

"No, Peyton. She's not… anymore. She stopped and how he's harassing her"

"And so you punch him to make things better for her. Right. Whatever. Luke, do you ever think maybe she deserves the stuff that happens to her?"

"Not anymore then you deserve all the stuff that happens to you" Lucas sighed, he knew it was a little harsh, but it was the truth. He knew what this was about. He'd tried to protect Peyton for so long, that now that he was trying to help Brooke out, she was jealous.

"Whatever, look this whole being friends thing isn't going to work, ok? My hearts just not in it"

Brooke caught Lucas right as he was walking out putting his gloves on. She paused for a second and tried to think. Should she really go? Would it just make things more awkward than they already were? After a few more seconds of debating she decided to go, but only on the condition that nothing happened. She wouldn't kiss him, she wouldn't in the words of Rachel "Rape him". She'd just thank him, and help him clean up her mess.

"Lucas!" Brooke yelled, hurrying towards him before he made it out the main door.

"Hey, you ok?"

"Yea, need some help?"

"Picking up trash?" Lucas laughed raising an eyebrow at her. Brooke hadn't even wanted to pick up trash the first time they'd had to do it, and now she was volunteering for the nasty job?

"Yea, I mean I got you stuck with this anyway, I figured you could at least use some company"

"Sure, I mean if you want"

"Yea, I do"


	10. Chapter 10

Day 6 

Brooke and Lucas spent the first few hours together picking up trash. All in all it was pretty un-eventful. They made random small talk about his mom and school and college next year, never actually trying to talk about anything serious. It wasn't exactly what Brooke had planned on, but it was better than nothing, and it made the time pass a lot faster. Before either of them knew it, it was 5:00 and starting to get dark. Both of their bodies were numb from the cold, and their cheeks chapped and pink. They'd gotten a lot more cleaning done today, then the had the other one and so when they finally reached a patch of area where the fake snow hadn't reached, Brooke decided it was time for a break.

"You gotta love the fake snow" Brooke laughed rolling her eyes as she sat down on the patchy grass. Her butt was frozen enough as it was, so the cold ground wasn't doing much more damage.

"Fake or not, its still cold"

"Here, Rachel sent it with me"

"Brooke Davis" Lucas whispered as she threw him the flask Rachel had sent with her. He tried to seem shocked, but really it didn't surprise him, especially since he'd brought his own alcohol.

"What? It'll warm you up"

"Thanks, but I've got my own"

"Rum? Ok Captain Jack" Brooke giggled rolling her eyes at Lucas and his pirate rum. He was so funny sometimes, and not purposely that she couldn't help but laugh at the little things he said or did.

"You love pirates"

"Sure. Orlando's hotter, but whatever"

"We should probably start back" Lucas said, realizing how late it was getting. It had taken them 4 hours to get up to where they were, which meant it was probably going to take them even longer to get back, and it was already starting to get dark.

"Back, ugh I forgot we had to walk back"

"At this rate, we'll make it back by 9"

"I may be frozen stiff by then" Brooke whined. She was already freezing all the way through, and almost completely soaked through with melted snow.

"Don't give me that look"

"What look?"

"The give me a piggy back ride look" Lucas sighed deciding she wasn't going to fall for it. He couldn't, especially not for 4 hours.

"Its cold, and I'm soaking wet from the snow"

"Me too"

"And my fingers are frozen" Brooke whined, holding her cold hands to his face.

"Hand me the map, there might be a shorter way back"

"The map?"

"Yea, of the slopes. I handed it too you like an hour ago" Lucas said, trying to remember if maybe there was a shorter way back to the lodge, without having to walk through all the skiers and snow boarders again.

"I thought it was something for me to spit my gum out on"

"What! Brooke"

"It can't be that hard to get back, it's a resort" Brooke said, not seeing what the big deal was. They'd just have to follow the fake snow.

"In the dark? It's going to be below freezing tonight"

Giving up on trying to find where Brooke had thrown the map, Lucas and Brooke decided to try and find their own way back to the lodge before it got too dark. It wasn't quite as easy as Brooke had thought it would be, and it wasn't helping matters that both she and Lucas were getting on each others last nerves, or that they we re both downing their alcohol to try and keep themselves warm.

It hit a point while walking that Brooke was purposely trying to get on Lucas' nerves. She loved the way he did his evil squinty glare at her when she said something annoying or sarcastic. He looked like he could be some kind of super hero…Squinty Glare Man. The whole idea of Lucas in spandex amused her to the point where she ended up laughing to herself for 20 minutes, until Lucas finally asked what was so funny. After she told him, he didn't find it quite as hysterical as she did. But she had to do something to keep herself warm. She knew she was getting somewhat delusional when the Psalty song "God has a plan" got stuck in her head. She'd only ever heard the song once, in 3rd grade when she'd gone to church with Peyton and her parents. Why it was just coming back to here now, she had no idea. Although, whenever she hummed it, a strange image of 10-year-old Haley did pop into her brain. That was it; she was never drinking on an empty stomach again.

Lucas on the other hand was just trying to stay serious, and find their way back. It was getting too dark to see now and they were pretty much screwed if they got stuck out there all night. Plus, things were starting to get a little wobbly from the few drinks of rum he'd had.

"Have I ever told you how much I hate you?" Brooke sighed as she trudged up the side of whatever mountain-ish thing they were climbing up now. It seemed like they were just walking in circles, and knowing them, they probably were.

"Because _you_ lost the map?"

"Well if someone had told me it was the map"

"We're gonna get killed by a Yeti" Brooke whispered, half serious, half just trying to piss him off again. She was kind of freaked out though, standing out in the cold dark, with all the trees behind them. There was no telling what kind of wild animals were around.

"What?"

"I'm serious, they live in these areas"

"They don't exist" Lucas muttered rolling his eyes at her. She was hopeless, here they could freeze to death and she was worried about some fictional animal coming to kill them.

"Fine, well when one tries to eat you and I have to lure it away with my good looks, you're gonna thank me"

"You better hope it isn't a girl Yeti"

"She might be a lesbian" Brooke whispered raising her eyebrows at him, even though it was too dark for him to tell she was doing it.

"Can we not do this again?" Lucas snapped, trying to avoid what seemed like the 10th argument in the past hour. He'd forgotten in his time away from Brooke how needy she could be, especially in a crisis.

"Yea"

"Here" Lucas sighed, slipping his jacket off and handing it to her. He felt bad for snapping at her, when really it wasn't her fault that they were stuck out there. She'd at least been nice enough to come out and help him in the first place. But he was really getting nervous about finding their way back. He knew both of them were soaking wet from all the melted snow, and things weren't going to end well if they got stuck out in the cold all night.

"Luke"

"You're soaked all the way through"

"Thanks" Brooke said, giving Lucas the first friendly smile she'd given him in hours.

"It's getting too dark to see"

"Wait, isn't that it?"

"What?" Lucas asked, looking in the direction Brooke was pointing in. All he could make out was the shadow of what looked like it might be a building. It was a lot smaller than the lodge, but hopefully it was at least somewhere they could call and get help, since both had left their cell phones at the lodge, for fear they'd get ruined in the snow.

Both Brooke and Lucas forced themselves to walk the last 100 feet to the building, which they realized wasn't anything more than a shack the size of a dorm room once they got too it. No lights were on, and when they knocked no one came to the door. So finally, after a few minutes of trying to decide what they should do, both Brooke and Lucas decided to twist the doorknob, with whatever little hope they had left.

To both their surprise, the door twisted open and Lucas found a flashlight sitting on the table as they walked in. It wasn't until he turned it on and shown it around the room that he realized that they were just in an old ski shed. No heat, no light, but there was also no wind or snow inside, so they shut the door behind them. It was really small, but carpeted with a few pillows and blankets lying around. Then a cabinet with a tiny radio on it, and that was it.

"What is this place?" Brooke whispered, trying not to bump into things as she made her way through the small room.

"Old Ski shed? I guess they stopped using it when they renovated a few months ago"

"A blanket!"

"I found water" Lucas said, throwing Brooke an almost frozen water bottle. They were both parched considering all they'd had to drink in the past 4 hours was Vodka and Rum.

"Its so cold"

"We should probably get out of these wet clothes"

"God, this is like a bad porno" Brooke mumbled realizing what was going to have to happen next. They either left their wet clothes on and got sick, or stripped down to their underwear and had to share a blanket. Brooke contemplated this for a minute while Lucas found some matches and a few candles.

"Just one blanket?"

"Yep, and 3 pillows"

"Right, we should probably stay here tonight anyway" Lucas sighed, both him and Brooke staring at each other aimlessly. They both knew what had to happen, but neither wanted to be the one who had to say it.

It wasn't until Brooke could feel her teeth starting to chatter that she decided that maybe lying half naked with Lucas under a blanket wouldn't be _that_ bad. They used to do it completely naked all the time, so what was different now. Finally, she took a deep breath, bit her bottom lip, and slid off her wet clothes, while Lucas did the same.

"So?" Brooke asked, once she was down to her bra and underwear.

"I think I may need some more to drink"

"Its not like we've never done this before"

"Yea, I mean we used to be naked all the time" Lucas laughed, but it didn't seem to help. It was just awkward, and that was the problem. With someone like Haley, it never would have been this awkward, they would have just don't it and laughed about it later. But it was so much different with Brooke. He knew that the second they got under that blanket together, there was going to be a flood of memories, memories that pretty much all involved sex.

"Exactly, and we're not even naked now"

"Plus it'll be warm"

"We could always have sex, all that friction" Brooke laughed, deciding they just needed to go ahead and get this over with. She had chill bumps all over her body, and her jaw was starting to ache from her teeth chattering.

"Brooke"

"Kidding, just trying to lighten the mood a little"

Finally, after procrastinating a little bit longer, Lucas took the blanket and wrapped it around both him and Brooke in the most un-awkward way he could think of. They were both sitting against one of the four walls, the blanket wrapped around their shoulders. Lucas had had to put one of his arms around Brooke's shoulder, so that the blanket would fit better, but once they had it figured out, it wasn't actually that bad.

As they sat there against the wall, making random small talk, Brooke hoped he couldn't feel how fast her heart was beating. As much as it sucked, being stuck in the cold, basically naked, this was probably the best way Brooke could have imagined today ending. She was sitting there in the guy she loved arms. Sure she was in her bra, and there was something kind of trashy about that but it was almost perfect.

"Remember the time Deb caught us buying whipped cream and condoms?" Brooke asked, she wasn't sure what made her think of it, other than maybe that she was wearing the same lacy pink underwear that she'd had on that night.

"Remember? How could I forget?"

"I miss whipped cream"

"I haven't been able to eat it since" Lucas sighed. After using it with Brooke, whipped cream on anything else just didn't seem as appetizing.

"The last time we had sex?"

"Yea, pretty much"

"Me either, its not as much fun if your not licking it-" Brooke started, but was interrupted by the sound of Lucas gagging.

"Brooke"

"Well its not"

"That wasn't as bad as the time those 2nd graders found us in the photo booth at the mall" Lucas laughed, leaning his head back against the wall as she thought about it.

"Hey, I think we educated them. We were helping man kind"

"I just can't believe we walked out without the pictures"

"Well some lucky 14 year old boy probably has them hanging up in his locker now" Brooke sighed, the thought was a little too much for her to handle.

"Or Mouth does"

"Ew! Lucas! So I never really thanked you for what you did to Chavez" Brooke said, getting tired of the small talk. She wasn't drunk, but she'd had enough from the flask to finally get the nerve up to talk to Lucas about something important.

"Yea, well he deserved it"

"This is nice"

"What?" Lucas asked, turning to face her a little.

"This, I mean we haven't really talked in a while now, not since the wedding"

"Yes we have"

"But not really, not about anything important" Lucas couldn't argue with her there. The last real meaningful conversation they'd had was when she'd broken up for him, and he usually tried to forget as much about that night as possible.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure"

"The test I found at the wedding, it was yours wasn't it?" Lucas asked, the fair amount of alcohol he'd injected had given him some liquid courage too, and so he figured while they were being candid and honest, he might as well get it off his mind.

"Yea"

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"I don't know. I mean I guess I was going to after the wedding, but I found out about you and Peyton kissing, and the night before she'd told me some stuff. I was a wreck and I just felt like I didn't even have control over my own life anymore" Brooke sighed, feeling her stomach turn. Just thinking about that time in her life still hurt. It wasn't east loosing the one and only person in her life that still gave a damn.

"I just can't believe things got that complicated. So, you just took the test alone?"

"Yea. You wanna hear the most selfish part?"

"What?" Lucas asked, feeling completely guilt stricken. He'd never realized how hard things had been on Brooke, especially near the end of their relationship. When he really thought about it, she'd had no one left after they broke up.

"I think I was almost disappointed when it turned out negative. I mean to be sitting there, alone at 17 hoping you're pregnant so that you're boyfriend will have to stay with you. That's how low I'd gotten and I just realized I couldn't live like that anymore. That's why I broke up with you"

"You know, I would have stayed with you because I loved you, not for any other reason. For the record, Peyton had no right to do what she did. You wanna hear my selfishness?"

"Always" Brooke sighed, giving Lucas a sad smile. She could tell he was trying as hard as she was, and it wasn't easy spilling out everything she'd kept locked up for so long. But at the same time, it was kind of nice, the way he had his arm wrapped around her shoulders as they talked. It'd been there for a while now, and she wasn't sure if he'd meant to do it, or it was just out of habit. Either way, it felt good.

"I think that's why I broke up with her, because she screwed us over so bad. I mean that whole time after Keith died, it sucked and you were there through the whole thing. You know, I didn't not call you because I didn't love you. I didn't call because I knew if I did, I'd feel better just hearing your voice, and I didn't want that. I didn't want to feel better. And you know what's even worse?"

"What?"

"I think I got together with her, just because I wanted you to be jealous. I mean, after we broke up the thought of dating her hadn't even crossed my mind, and then it was like poof, she wanted to be together. I spent the entire time she and I were dating wondering if you were watching or even cared. I guess maybe I ought to feel guilty about it but I'm pretty sure she has hundreds of emails to Jake in her sent mail." Lucas had never planned on telling Brooke any of this, or anyone for that matter, but for the first time, in a while, sitting there with her, he remembered why it was her he was in love with.

"If it makes you feel any better, I thought about pushing her into on coming traffic more than a few times"

"It does, I think"

"Everything's just so complicated. I mean, listening to Whitey talk at the banquet, I was so sure we didn't have what he and Camilla did. It just seemed so magical and perfect and we're a mess" Brooke laughed, even though it really wasn't that funny. They _were_ a mess, and they'd probably always be that way. No matter how hard they tried it seemed like they just couldn't ever make it work. Part of her hoped that maybe after this, things would be different. There wouldn't be any more secrets and maybe they could finally at least be real friends, even if it was the alcohol that had them talking.

"You know what I've noticed since loosing Keith? You tend to glorify the people who you loose. I mean, when I think of Keith I never think of the time he almost killed me in a car accident, or how he just left and didn't even call. Peyton doesn't think back on Ellie and remember how she gave her away or was a drug addict. We just remember the good things I guess, and I'm sure it's the same with Whitey"

"Then why do the bad things with us, still have to hurt so bad?"

"The way I see it is, the day that I think a bout you breaking up with me, and it doesn't hurt anymore, is the day that I'll realize I've stopped caring, and I don't want it to ever be like that, no matter how bad it hurts. If you clear your mind, and just think about us, what comes to mind?" Lucas asked, trying to make her see what he meant by all of this.

"Walking back to my apartment, the night we got together"

"Kissing you in the rain"

"Even though we were sick for a week afterwards?" Brooke asked. The room was starting to spin a little now, and she didn't think it was from the alcohol. Things had gotten tense, but not a bad tense. She could feel her heart starting to beat faster, as she listened to what he had to say.

"It was worth it. I'm just saying, I don't think anyone ever realizes they've had 'that kind of love' until they've lost it for good"

Lucas brushed her hair out of her face, and stared at her for a minute. He knew he wanted to kiss her, but he just had to time it right. Maybe he should ask first, for the sake of his face, considering Brooke too had had a little to drink and there was no telling what was going on in her mind. But right as he started to open his mouth to say something, she beat him to the punch, leaning in, pressing her soft lips against his.

Brooke had been thinking about it for a while now, sitting there in his arms. Her heart was pounding against her chest but she knew if she didn't do it, she'd regret it. So, before he had a chance to say anything to ruin the moment, she leaned in and went for it. His lips were warm against hers as he slowly kissed her back. He cupped one hand around her face and pulled her closer with his other one, rubbing it across her back until it was wrapped completely around her. She was terrified of what would happen if she stopped, so she kissed harder, running her fingers through his spiky hair, with her other hand placed on his cheek, until finally, they both had to come up for air.

It was completely silent for a minute while both realized what was happening. Brooke sat straddled across his lap, her bare stomach still slightly against his, and one of his arms still wrapped around her. Both knew what they wanted to happen, but neither knew if the other one was thinking the same thing, so they just stared at each other for a minute, waiting for any kind of sign from the other one. Neither wanting to talk, for fear it might ruin their moment, until finally Lucas leaned in for the second kiss.

As they kissed this time, Brooke could feel her own heart pounding against Lucas' chest as he ran his fingers down her back. Her lips started to tremble as they finally laid down on the few pillows on the floor. Since they were already in their underwear, there wasn't much Brooke could do to try and give Lucas the idea that they were _definitely_ having sex. It wasn't until she finally felt his hand on her bra latch that she thanked god he was thinking the same thing she was. Before getting to the last hook, Lucas pulled away just enough and whispered, "Are you sure?". Brooke didn't bother responding with words, but instead, unlatched the last hook herself.


	11. Chapter 11

Brooke Davis rolled over only to see what looked like sunlight leaking through a small window

_If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. And if they don't, they never were.  
_ Kahlil Gibran

Day 7

Brooke Davis rolled over only to see what looked like sunlight leaking through a small window. She was still so tired, it too her a minute to come too. First came confusion. _Where_ was she? She definitely wasn't in a bed, and definitely wasn't dressed. Second came shock. As she turned over to try and get a better idea of what was going on, she finally noticed that she wasn't alone. It took all she had not to scream as she turned to see Lucas lying beside her.

Finally, reality hit. Suddenly everything from last night came flooding back. To Brooke's surprise it wasn't even the least bit hazy. Why, she wasn't sure. She'd tried to tell herself that she had been drunk, and that's what caused this to happen. But, there was no hangover or fogginess in the slightest. Now came the hard decision. She laid there quietly for a minute and watched Lucas sleep. He still had his hand on top of hers. How could she have been so stupid to of have this happen? Poor Lucas was probably more than wasted last night, which meant he was probably going to regret everything. Should she pretend she was drunk too? Act like it was all some huge mistake? Should she just get up and leave before he had a chance to wake up? In a matter of just a few hours, everything had gone from a little complicated to completely screwed up. They were never going to be able to go back now, at least not to being friends. But as she laid there, contemplating all of this, she realized something she'd probably known deep down all along. They'd never even really been friends in the first place. A week ago they hadn't even been on speaking terms, and now suddenly they were sleeping together again? She guessed that didn't qualify as friendship.

At first it didn't seem so bad. So they'd had sex. Now things would be awkward, he'd go his way, and she'd go hers. Maybe it had been what they needed all along. Awkward goodbye sex, to finally have closure in their relationship. The only problem was, the sex definitely hadn't been awkward, and hadn't really seemed like goodbye sex. The whole night had actually been pretty amazing. After being with Nick who was a sex-a-holic, and then Chase who was anti-sex, Brooke had completely forgotten how things were with Lucas. It wasn't just sex with them. That's why it was going to be so hard to let it all go again.

Before Brooke had a chance to decide once and for all how she wanted to deal with his, she felt Lucas twitch, and then he finally opened his eyes. For a few minutes, they both just laid there, neither really sure what to say to the other one. Finally, it just got to be too much for Brooke, so she decided to be the one to break the ice.

"No words?" She sighed, biting her bottom lip. She didn't know what else to say. All that came to mind were corny sex jokes, or serious conversation, neither of which she was really in the mood for.

"I was kind of hoping you had some"

"We were drunk"

"And cold" Lucas added, still neither making eye contact.

"Right, we had to get warm somehow"

"Exactly"

"So?" Brooke sighed, feeling things getting more and more awkward by the minute. Why did this have to be so weird? It was just sex after all. They'd done it hundreds of times before and never had an awkward morning after.

"So, I guess we should head back?"

"Yea"

The walk back was quiet, and awkward couldn't even begin to describe it, but at the same time, it was almost ok. To both their embarrassment, the hotel wasn't actually that far. As they walked Lucas went over all the events of the night in his head over and over. The thing that bothered him most was the fact that he hadn't been _that_ drunk, which meant he was just stupid. Everything had just happened so fast that he hadn't even bothered to think about what things would be like afterwards. Then again, he could have never imagined that they would be this awkward.

When they finally made it to the front door of the hotel, they both just stood there, looking back at the other one. The only thing that was flashing through Lucas' mind was how much he wanted to kiss her. Things didn't have to be awkward anymore. He'd just tell her how he really felt, and that he wanted to be with her again and they could just go back to being them, couldn't they? But as nice as it was to sit there and fantasize, he knew the real thing was so much nicer, and he was never going to have her unless he fought to keep her and so, as they stood there awkwardly on the porch, he leaned in to kiss her.

"Lucas, wait. We can't do this" Brooke turned away before their lips could meet. She knew what a kiss right now meant. It meant they were something again, and she wasn't sure she was ready for that. Not until he re-assured her of a few things.

"Why not?"

"Because. It always ends the same with us"

"It doesn't have too" Lucas whispered putting both his hands on Brooke's shoulders. Brooke smiled a little. She was pretty sure this was the first time in a long time that Lucas had taken the initiative to comfort her, and let her know everything was going to be alright. Maybe he had learned something. But as much as she just wanted to give up and fall into his arms right then, she had to make sure.

"Yes it does. Lucas maybe there's a reason this hasn't worked. There's a reason we always end up back where we started with this"

"Maybe we just aren't trying hard enough"

"What? You think I didn't try both times? Lucas I gave you all of me and got my heart broken twice! I don't think I can stand it breaking again" Lucas's last line had pissed Brooke off so much she was yelling now. Who did he think he was? Saying _they _didn't try hard enough. _He_ hadn't tried hard enough and that was why they were in this position in the first place. After the yelling Brooke took a second to cool off. Maybe that had gotten through to him, so Brooke stood there, waiting for him to tell her what she needed to hear.

But Lucas too, just stood there. At this point, he didn't know what to say. He knew he loved her, but his love hadn't helped stop her heart from getting broken the past 2 times, how was he supposed to convince her it was any different now? Anything he said now, she was just going to manage to turn back around on him. Not to mention they were standing out side where people were beginning to stare.

"I'm going in. People are staring" Brooke sighed, giving Lucas one last heart wrenching look before leaving him alone. Why did everything have to be so difficult? After all of this had he still not learned? All he had needed to say was "I won't hurt you again". That was all she needed to hear. But the fact that he couldn't even think to say it showed her that there was definitely something wrong in this relationship, and maybe it just wasn't salvageable.

Brooke made her way, slowly up the stairs to her room, closely followed by Rachel who had heard the entire fight.

"You should have Peyton slapped him" Rachel laughed lying down on the bed beside Brooke.

"What's the point? He's never going to learn anyway"

"Give him a break. Maybe he just needs some time. Obviously you guys had something yesterday and maybe he just needs to adjust"

"We slept together" Brooke smiled sarcastically, but said it seriously enough so Rachel would know it was the truth.

"What?"

"And he was pretty well adjusted last night"

"Ass" Rachel muttered, realizing that maybe Brooke and Lucas getting back together was going to be a lot harder than she'd originally thought.

"I just don't get it. One minute he's romantic and re-assuring and I can totally see myself with him again. And the next, he's a guy"

"Well, I mean if you're looking for a girl, Bevin might be open to something"

"Rachel" Brooke whined, not really in the mood for her stupid jokes, or the image of her and Bevin together.

"Sorry. Look, yea. He's a guy. He broods a lot, and he's not the brightest when it comes to relationships but what guy is? Look at Nathan, or Jake, or Mouth… or any guy! They're all idiots and we really have no use for them until we need to pro-create"

"What about sex?"

"Come on, we both know you're just fine "Brookeing" yourself" Rachel smiled, laughing to herself a little as she said it. Again, Brooke wasn't really amused.

"Rachel"

"Ok. In all seriousness. If I were you, I wouldn't call things off just yet. Think on it for a night. Maybe he'll come around"

"And if not?" Brooke sighed, turning to Rachel.

"If not? Then you'll find 5 other beautiful guys in college next year anyway"

Peyton too, had been standing outside listening to the fight between Brooke and Lucas. At first she'd actually been enjoying it, after all she didn't really want to see them together again. It wasn't until she saw the look on Lucas' face after Brooke walked away that she actually felt bad for the both of them. She knew being in a relationship with Lucas wasn't easy, and felt for Brooke. But then again, she also knew Brooke wasn't exactly the most perfect to be with either. Maybe Brooke had been right to walk away. She was at least the realist in the situation. She knew what happened every time they were together, and she probably knew that it was just going to happen again since after all, history usually repeats itself. Either way, Peyton still felt like maybe she should talk to Lucas since he was probably having a harder time with this than Brooke.

"You didn't look that sad when we broke up" Peyton sighed, giving Lucas a sad smile as she walked over to his bed. It was so weird to see him like this, just lying there, staring up at the ceiling, with one hand covering both his eyes.

"Yea well"

"She's just a girl Luke"

"She's _the_ girl" Lucas whispered, not bothering to move his hand so he could see Peyton. He wasn't playing Peyton's game of 'lets make Lucas get over Brooke'. He knew she meant well and everything but he just wasn't in the mood for any of it, from anyone.

"So you're back to this again?"

"I'm not sure it ever really went away"

"Is she really worth all this stress?" Peyton asked, deciding not to give up. She needed to help him move on from Brooke, hell maybe make him move on from girls in Tree Hill in general.

"You know, there hasn't been a day in almost 2 years now that I didn't think about her. So I hope so"

"What is it that's so amazing about Brooke Davis?"

"You ever see the way she does that thing with her dimples when she's lying? The way the one of the left twitches? Or the way she'll spend an hour doing her hair to come watch me shoot hoops, even when she knows she's just going to end up trying to play with me and get all sweaty?" Lucas asked. It didn't really answer Peyton's question but that's all he could come up with. When he thought about why he loved Brooke, it was things like that that came to mind.

"Yea, so?"

"That's what's so amazing to me. Its not that she's class president or a cheerleader. Its that every time she brushes against me, I can feel my heart pound against my chest"

"I could feel the hairs on the back of my neck stand up" Peyton smiled, finally understanding what he meant. She hadn't thought about that in a long time, but things were finally making sense to her now.

"What?"

"When Jake and I would kiss."

"So, what do I do?" Lucas sighed. He was stumped, it seemed like all the ideas he had, he'd done before. He needed something special, something that she couldn't refuse.

"I guess you have two choices"

"And they are?"

"Either you just try and forget about her completely" Peyton started but Lucas interrupted, clearly not liking the thought of the first option.

"Or?"

"Or, you fight like hell. But when you do it you better be pretty damn sure that's what you want, because she doesn't deserve to be hurt again Luke. She just wants someone to fight for her. As much as you love her, she's always the one initiating the relationship; she's the one wanting you. Now you've just got to show her that you want her as much as she wants you, and that you really mean it"

Lucas spent a lot of the rest of the day thinking. Nothing he thought about seemed good enough for Brooke. Maybe Brooke had been right. Maybe things just weren't supposed to work out for them. Here he was, supposedly in love with her and he couldn't even think of a way to prove it to her. It was now almost 5:00 when he heard a knock at his door, he almost didn't say anything hoping they'd just go away, but out of fear that maybe it was Brooke, he answered.

"So, have you grown any balls yet?" Rachel asked, throwing a can of beer to Lucas' gut. She had a feeling he might need some liquid courage later.

"Rachel"

"Don't mind me, I just came to slap you around a little. What the hell is your problem?"

"What?" Lucas sighed, wishing she'd just go away. He wasn't in the mood to listen to her lecturing. He felt bad enough about everything that had happened with Brooke anyway.

"Brooke has been locked in her room for hours now because you're an ass"

"I know"

"Well at least that's a start. Look, Whitey just called a meeting. He wants everyone to meet downstairs in the lobby" Rachel said, getting to the real reason she'd come. Whitey was pissed off about something, again and wanted to meet with everyone down in the lobby to talk about behavior. Most everyone had already headed down and so Rachel saw this as a chance to snag Lucas and have a little chat with him, while at the same time saving him from a month detention for not making it to the meeting.

"I don't want to go"

"Brooke will be there"

Brooke walked towards the stairs by herself, trying to avoid people in general. She really didn't want to be at this meeting, especially since she didn't even know what it was about. Even so, she didn't want detention even more, so she was dragging herself. She'd almost made it to the stairway when she heard someone say her name behind her. She turned to see, Chase. If there'd been anyone she'd managed to avoid this whole trip, it'd been him. Why, she wasn't really sure. They hadn't really had a bad break up, they just hadn't really spoken much since it had happened. It was clear neither of them really had feelings for the other one, so she guessed there wasn't really any reason for them to even be friends.

"Hey, so can you believe it?" Chase asked, almost laughing. Brooke had no idea what he was talking about.

"Believe what?"

"Why we're here! Bevin and Chavez getting caught in the hot tub last night… didn't you hear?"

"No! Bevin" Brooke laughed shaking her head. Not that she was surprised. Chavez did like his students.

"Someone said he was getting fired, jerk"

"Seriously…"

Somehow, Rachel had managed to drag Lucas to the meeting. How? He wasn't sure. It was just a way Rachel had about her that she could make anyone do anything she wanted. Good for her, bad for everyone else. As they walked down the hallway towards the stairs together, he saw her. There was Brooke, standing with Chase of all people, smiling and whispering. At the sight of that, something just snapped in Lucas. It wasn't like he was jealous of them, he just wished he was the one standing with her. That's when he knew what he had to do. So after Chase walked away, Lucas took a deep breath, and called her name.

"Brooke!" After he caught her attention he realized this was it. There was no turning back now, especially since they were in front of their entire senior class. He watched as Brooke paused and looked at him. It took him a second to realize she was waiting for him to say something. He hadn't really thought this through as well as he would have liked, so he did the only thing that came to mind, hoping things would turn out better this time. So, without another thought, Lucas placed his hand on Brooke's cheek and pulled her closer until their lips finally touched. He placed his other hand on her back, hoping it would keep her from pulling away, and pressed his lips harder against hers, until he finally felt her kiss back, and then he pulled away.

"Lucas" Brooke whispered, biting her bottom lip. Now she was the one that was speechless. Did she argue with him for kissing her? Did she just accept it? She wasn't sure what to do. All she knew was that a kiss wasn't going to fix everything.

Lucas watched for a second while Brooke clearly struggled with what had just happened. After noticing that she was having trouble, Lucas decided that he had to say something to keep her from changing her mind, even if whatever he said was going to be heard by the entire senior class who was now looking on.

"I love you"

"But"

"And I'm fighting for you" Lucas whispered, brushing Brooke's hair back out of her face.

"You are?"

"I want us. Brooke, I love you. You're the girl for me. No matter who I'm with, it _always_ comes back to you. I just, I don't want to loose you again "

"You've had me, twice" Brooke cried, but Lucas interrupted before she could say anything else.

"I know. And I know I've hurt you. But I'll do _whatever_ it takes to make this better Brooke. I wont hurt you again. Please. I'm begging you in front of our entire class. Be my girlfriend?"

This time it was Brooke who leaned in for the kiss, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her lips softly against his. Slowly, letting the kiss get more and more passionate until finally she pulled away and pressed her forehead against his.

"That's a yes right?"

"Yes" Brooke smiled, and then kissed him again. It was so weird to think, that just a week ago they hadn't even been on speaking terms and now here they were, _them_ again. At least they hoped. The truth was, neither knew that the future would bring for them. Summer, college, life. But if either of them had learned anything in the past year, it was that life was about living in the now, and that's what they planned to do, together.

_If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, __**they were always yours**__. And if they don't, they never were.  
_ Kahlil Gibran

A Lonely September

I'm sittin' here all by myself  
just tryin' to think of something to do  
Tryin' to think of something, anything  
just to keep me from thinking of you  
But you know it's not working out  
'cause you're all that's on my mind  
One thought of you is all it takes  
to leave the rest of the world behind

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

I'm sittin' here tryin' to convince myself  
that you're not the one for me  
But the more I think, the less I believe it  
and the more I want you here with me  
You know the holidays are coming up  
I don't want to spend them alone  
Memories of Christmas time with you  
will just kill me if I'm on my own

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back

I know it's not the smartest thing to do  
we just can't seem to get it right  
But what I wouldn't give to have one more chance tonight  
One more chance tonight

I'm sittin' here tryin' to entertain myself with this old guitar  
But with all my inspiration gone it's not getting me very far  
I look around my room and everything I see reminds me of you  
Oh please, baby won't you take my hand  
we've got nothing left to prove

Well I didn't mean for this to go as far as it did  
And I didn't mean to get so close and share what we did  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back, but I know you did

And I didn't mean to meet you then  
we were just kids  
And I didn't mean to give you chills  
the way that I kiss  
And I didn't mean to fall in love, but I did  
And you didn't mean to love me back but I know you did  
Don't say you didn't love me back 'cause you know you did  
No, you didn't mean to love me back  
But you did


	12. Authors Note

Authors note:

Authors note:

Hey everyone. So, thanks so much for the reviews! I know it's been like a year since I updated but school kind of got the best of me this year. This story is sadly over. But, my friend and I are working on a new one that is BL (of course) and it takes place this season. We're pretty in love with it so I hope you guys will be too! I should have it up in a few days hopefully.

Thanks again for all the amazing reviews!


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